1
The Life Coach
1
Prologue
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark…. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.” -Ayn Rand
Such is my faith that I do not know who I am. I am not in charge of my life as I believed it was, just a few years ago…
My name is Jay Storm. I am a counselor and a psychological therapist and a so-called life coach.
Ironic, isn’t it; the life coach is not in charge of his own life. Many clients have I helped towards realization of themselves and their inner abilities to live a better life; to be fulfilled as what they truly are.
Myself? I don’t know what I am doing here. I have many thoughts in my head, but I do not know where they come from; they don’t seem to be mine anymore.
What to do? Where do I go? What is going to happen to me and more important; who am I if I am not me?
Picture a white room. Everything inside this room is white. Which means that there are no references or contrasts that can indicate where I am or what kind of room this is. No shadows, not a trace of any other color.
If a black spot suddenly would appear in front of me as if there was a wall there; how would I feel? What would that spot mean to me and how would the room change? Maybe it wouldn’t change, but just prove to me that this is a completely white room; that it’s there. I can
see it now although it’s still very white.
I am trying to see myself as the black spot. I think I would feel very much alone. More now than before the black spot appeared.
Who has created this room which would drive me insane if I kept on staying here?
I think I would draw another spot a short distance from the first one and then a line in between the two spots. I would already feel much better. I would keep on doing this until I had lines and dots all over the room and I would be satisfied and say to myself; “Hey, I have a grip on this now! I can clearly see the room.”
Maybe it could work out that way, but I doubt it would make my life better or make me understand it.
I woke up one morning after having a nightmare. I could not remember what I had been dreaming, but I was very alarmed and felt uncomofortable when I set my feet on the floor. I just sat there for what must have been 15 minutes; totally empty, but I could still feel the turmoil inside my stomach or rather in the Solar Plexus area .. I was sweating although the room wasn’t very hot. I knew: ’sweat coming from within’ as I called the phenomenon to myself. Something significant had been going on during the last half hour…
Something deep inside that had been waiting for many years to break through. This had started to happen about 20 years ago. I had started meditating 2 years before, which had affected me profoundly. My mind had opened to depths I couldn’t have imagined existed just 2 years before…
Now I was just waiting for the revelation to show up; what was this about? I laid down on my back with my head on the pillow. I think I just dozed off again, but then came the voice in my head: “wake up Jay, wake up Jay, WAKE UP JAY!!”
I found myself standing on the floor several steps away from the bedside. Now I could only hear the sound of tiny bells in the middle of my head… Then; as it was coming from far, far away; a distant voice from a child saying: “do you remember, Jay, when you were a little boy sitting in the light many years ago?” I didn’t know what to say or how to express myself… “Just talk normally”, the child’s voice said. Still I hesitated… “The shining light and the flowers, Jay!” The voice sounded a little annoyed now. I said: “you mean, you were there? How do you know about this? Who are you??” Then, to my amazement the voice said: “I am you and you are me!”, “please, can you explain?” “I am Little Jay, who saw these visions and I still know them and live them. Would you like to recapitulate them and be one with me and then I can be one with you…” I went to the bed and sat down. I was crying now.
L.J. as I had always called him and who had been on my mind and in my heart for so many years… Could this be true or was I still dreaming?
It took some time before I came to my senses again and it seemed like the boy understood; he was waiting for me. I said through tears that I would love to be close to him. Then I heard his clinging laughter in my head; L.J.’s laughter as I remembered it when I laughed as a boy! I became euphoric now; I laughed and I cried and went around in the room, stopped by the window with tears of joy flowing down my cheeks.
What a joy!
croenning@rocketmail.com
The Cafeneion
Doll enters the café. She marches up to the counter and says in a loud voice: “I had too much Tsekoudia last night and I
have decided that I need some more today; as a cure and, while you’re at it, please pour two shots of whiskey too!”
She looks at Glow behind the counter as if she is not going to process her orders and laughs her horselike laughter.
She continues to stare at Glow with blood shot eyes, but Glow doesn’t mind her; she’s just happy to have a paying
customer…
Doll finally turns around to view the other guests this early Friday morning:
“Bloody Hell, what a sorry creed you are hosting here today, Glow! I think I will have
my drinks served outside!”
Out she marches without a glance at the others. No one complains about her outbursts;
they all know her…
Jay was sitting in his corner, tapping away on his computer keypad: exactly what is written above.
“Sometimes I hate these two lost cases of humanity”, he mutters to himself.
“They are ugly in all senses of the word, lost in this forsaken place. They are constantly
grumpy and unpleasant to be around. They are drinking a lot, which doesn’t make them
any more edible…”
Doll is big as a walrus and can scare any man or woman out of their wits by lashing truly horrible sarcastic comments
at them in a pitched voice that must blow any decibel measuring device in to pieces.
She is usually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt in dull blue-grey colours and she never wears a bra; everything dangling
freely around on her torso; no walks on the cat walk for her; ever!
Glow has a flare about her, but her grumpy and negative appearance kills it immediately…
Doll stumbles out the door sighing heavily with one hand on her forehead. Glow follows with the drinks on a tray and a huge glass of red wine for herself.
Before she can put the tray down on the table, Doll has grabbed the glass of Tsekoudia and gulped it down in one go.
With the tray placed in front of her she immediately grasps for the nearest glass of whiskey and hoists it down her throat, followed by the other at the same pace…
Then she burps loudly with her mouth wide open. She licks her mouth and laughs her laughter again.
Glow has placed herself neatly with crossed legs on the other side of the table and is now sipping her wine like a lady.
There are still some British manners left in her, although she might not be aware of it.
Her face is shaped like the Himalayas as they can be seen on a satellite photo taken from space.
She constantly moans about the Café that doesn’t bring the money she had anticipated 4 years ago…
For Jay it works like this: he cannot stay too long with any of these hippos. “No wonder people are shunning this place”,
he says to himself.
Jay feels like he is provoking them by his shear appearance; so he puts his money for his espresso on the counter and
steps outside; saying good bye to the two beauties who have arrived at a more happy state now.
Doll’s face has turned purple and he worries for her health, but why should he?
After a few steps Doll growls something that sounds like: “Honey, are you leaving? Don’t you like us any more?!”
and then the laughter…
Jay hastens off, reminding himself that this must be the last time he visits this place, which is something he’s
told himself through grinding teeth many times before.
The Café is shabby and worn out by being old and the latest years neglected.
There’s occasional leakage from the ceiling due to dried up concrete or, more likely; the remaining concrete
is at a level of 20% compared to the rest of the compound which fills up the remaining 80% that is consisting
of sand and pebbles…
When it rains the few guests must balance their steps in between buckets and pots that covers one third of the floor.
There’s an old gas heater by the wall and it’s lit during these wet circumstances; this mainly happens in wintertime
and early spring.
The furniture is made out of the traditional Greek wooden chairs wound up with hemp string fitted as seats. Every
15 minute one should take a walk to ease up the tensions in one’s but and back. There ar wooden tables to match
the chairs. There’s no table cloths on the tables. The owners; Doll and Glow are not too keen on extra expenses for
laundry and the hazzle of too much equipment in the Café.
In fact this is not a Café as a Northern European would see it. It’s a traditional “cafeneion”, where men used to smoke 60 cigarettes in 2 hours and have a glass of Ouzu and Mezes; a small dish of sardines, small pickled cucumbers and sweet red pepper and olives, all sprinkled with olive oil and served with white bread…
Jay lives just 150 meters down the street, so it’s convenient for him to drop in and have his morning coffee there
now and then.
He starts his stroll down the street and already after 20 meters he is feeling relieved; the air is more fresh;
the light brighter…
The Café is situated on a little Platia named after a once famous Cretan General
It could have been a cosy place, but with these owners it will never happen. They just want to get out of the business and sell the whole establishment, which is something Jay looks forward to, but he wants it to happen now! Or Yesterday!
Jay lives in a newly renovated old house. His friends would call it a luxury to live there, but he can afford it with
his reasonable income in the form of a pension and disability benefits from his own country. He feels better here; his
disease can take the Mediterranean climate much better than up north where he comes from.
Looking down the street he can see the fishing harbour which lies by the local beach – just a few minutes’ walk away.
By turning his head up the street he has a full view of the “Lefka Ori”; The White Mountains. The name does not come
from the snow covered wintertime scenario when there’s snow down the mountain sides. The highest peaks reaches
up to 2500 meters. The white comes from the colour of the building minerals of these mountains.
At this time of the day Jay goes for a bicycle trip into town to meet friends and to buy the latest newspapers;
The Guardian is his preferred paper.
He puts his computer in the bedroom cupboard and straps the rucksack on to his back and when he’s finally ready, he jumps
the stairs down and fetches his bike in the shelf in the front garden. He’s happy as a little boy every time he he’s going for a ride on his bicycle.
In less than 3 minutes he’s in the street saddled for the best event this day. He turns the corner where the talkative owner
of the barber shop sits outside in the still cool morning air. Jay smiles and waves his hand at him; a gesture that releases a loud
“Kali Mera, fille mho!” Jay is always impressed by the power of the little man’s voice! No “sotto voce” there, but then he is a Greek man…
3
Chet
If my words did glow like the gold of sunshine
and my tunes were played on a harp unstrung
would you hear my voice come through the music
would you hold it near as if it were your own?
Grateful Dead: “Ripples”
I am in a room which I call the office although it’s a bedroom, but with desks and chairs and a sofa for those of my clients who would like to lie down. The room also has a view to the sea, which is a view that has always had a calming effect on me. The walls are painted ruby red with thin golden vertical stripes. I painted it in this colour on impulse and wasn’t at all sure if this was the right colour. I like it, but I don’t know if my clients approve to it. I have asked them and they politely said that it was all right…
I was sitting in my swivel chair with my feet up on the desk, dozing off now and then. Late night yesterday and red wine to go with it…
“Too much, old man” I said to myself.
I was waiting for an early morning client while contemplating the last session with him; one of many and no progress whatsoever.
I had given him many hints to try something else, but he wasn’t very bright and couldn’t take it in.
The door bell rang and I went to open the door. Chet was standing outside viewing the sea; his face purple due to his constant drinking.
“Oh, Doc”, he said, “I had too many Heinekens yesterday and I am not quite sure if I can think straight today.” I was hoping that this statement would lead to a second and more favourable one; for me, but he looked at me and smiled; “still there are things I have to talk with you about , Doc.”
He insisted upon calling me Doc and I had given up trying to correct him.
“Right, Chet come on in.” “You look slick and stylish as always, Chet”. “Thank you Doc, It’s mostly for the ladies, you know. There has to be some style to it, especially in my age.”
He finally came up the two steps to my entrance door and went inside. Inside I could smell his perfume or maybe it was his after shave.
I went ahead and opened the door to my “office”.
He climbed in and sat down in his usual chair;
the deep ruby red one that had inspired me to paint the walls in the same colour.
“So, Chet, you had something to tell me?” “Ah, I love this chair Doc!” was his answer.
“Something else to tell me?”
“Yes, sorry Doc, I always get distracted when I am here, but I feel it’s doing me good, you know.”
“In what way?”
“At first I am a wee bit nervous, you see, but then, after landing in this chair I just feel so relaxed.”
“OK, Chet, but what was it you had to tell me?”
Finally he seems to get to the point, which hasn’t got too much of a point.
“You see, Doc, I had this telephone call last night from…”
“Lilly?” I said. “Yes, you know, Doc, I am so angry with this woman; she stole my money, you know…” “Chet, how many times have you told me this story and when are you going to do something about it?”
He turned, if possible, even more purple now; his nose was shining like a beacon; “You know. Doc, I feel good when I come here to have these chats, but when you start cutting me off like this I actually get a little angry!” He had a stiff smile on his face all the time he was saying this.
“But, you know why I do it, don’t you? Or have you forgotten?” He stared at me with the same smile on his face. “Doc, when I feel bad as I do now, our chats will not benefit me at all. I pay you to make me feel better, don’t I?”
“Why do you have to bring this up every time you’re here, Chet?”
“And how many times have we gone through this same routine?” “You haven’t done a damn shit about your own situation. Not a single step towards finding the obvious solutions I have recommended for you to help you solve your frustration with women… What are you going to do about that?..”
“But, but, you are the doctor!”
“Chet, relax, how many times have we had this subject up for discussion?”
“Of course we have had it up, as you say, that’s why I am here, right?!” He had risen out of the chair and came walking
towards me. Angry now; he came up to my face with his fists clenched.
“Chet, anything stupid from you and I will report you to the police, we have talked about this too, many times, your anger takes over and you cannot control yourself.”
He stops, turns as if to go back to his chair, but then turns back to stare at me again. “I’d like to see your diploma, Doc. Sometimes I wonder if you have any education at all!”
“Sometimes my clients aren’t yet ready to face themselves, Chet. You are one of these clients. My diploma is hanging on the wall, you have seen it before.” “Yes, but it’s nothing worth, you know, Doc; if your sessions doesn’t help me, I might as well find someone else who are really willing to help me out of this…”
“Chet, I have told you before; if you are dissatisfied with my treatment you are free to go wherever you want.
Actually, I advice you to do it as you seem to turn into a state of anger every time I criticize your lack of faith in yourself and just walk away to the nearest bar in stead, for your precious Heineken.”
He spun around and in one second he was up in my face and hit me under the nose and then punched my chin; real hard.
I just sat there, bleeding from my nose and looked at him. He was still angry, but a little bewildered now. He was slow, but he seemed to realize what he had done …
I told him to leave and he turned on his heel and marched out of my office. I could hear the door slam when he left the house…
croenning@rocketmail.com
4
On the beach with L.J.
My house was situated not far from the sea and I felt the urge to get out on my bicycle to shake some of my anger off.
I had had to clean up my messy face and put on a scarf to cover it up
Now I was on my bike; heading for the most peaceful beach at Christopoli. It was still early in the morning and I enjoyed the trip on my bike; as always.
Bicycling is one of the best ways of moving bodies. The fresh breeze in my face, the smell of the sea, the feeling of well being as my body works to keep up my desired speed.
The lush sunlight coming through the canopies of the trees. The flicker in my eyes and brain makes me feel like I am going to have an epileptic episode…
I am still on my bike and I am doing well, but I am not here… I can watch everything around me, but it’s strange, although I have been doing this trip many times. It feels like I am switched into an automatic pilot mode. I am leaving the lane of trees and I start to recognize my surroundings again.
“It’s ok Jay, it’s ok; nothing to worry about”, a soft and distant voice is telling me this. I start talking with it and soon realize that it’s L.J. who has shown up again.
“I am happy to have you here, my little friend”, I say and he responds with “ok” and nothing else. I am baffled and wonder if he just wants me to shut up while I am still on my bike?
“That’s right!” he says, “wait until we’re on the beach where we can play and swim and have a good time, that’s better than all the talking you seem to be obsessed with!”
Then silence…
I have reached the so-called Golden Beach now. It lies on the leeward side of a hill which keeps the wind away and hence, also the waves that can be dangerous some times on the beaches lying further west on the island; facing the ocean.
I find a place just beneath some cliffs that provide shadow. I am not a fan of staying too long on the beach and in the sun.
“Congratulations Jay; this is a wisely chosen spot!” says L.J.
I lay out my big towel and lie down. There are just a couple of devoted sun lovers here yet; turning their bodies every 20 minutes or so and in between smearing themselves in with greasy and sticky cream. They can stay for the whole day like this.
I find it awkward to “talk” with L.J. and he says in my head that I can communicate with my thoughts; “as you have done before, remember?”
“Yes I remember; I was 23 years old and my mum was dying. I was the only one in her room; the rest of the family had
pulled back to the adjacent room. She was in a coma and suddenly I could hear her voice in my head, as I heard L.J. now. She said, “So you do love me then!” I jumped out from the wall I was leaning to. My reply came immediately: “YES!” spoken in the same way as she had done. Then silence… she died 10 minutes after this “conversation”. I was the last one to stay with her…
“That’s it”, L.J. said, “that’s the way you can talk with me too; without a sounding word…
I smiled and then I laughed. I felt happy with this little boy inside. “Oh, but I am not inside you any more, Jay. Let’s just see it this way: I am with you, but not inside you.”
“Now, let’s get into the water!” I was immediately up on my feet and ran into the water and then plunged into it and dived down to the bottom. Not very deep here. I felt the joy of being one with the salty sea, more than I had ever done since I was a kid, that is; when I was L.J.!
“Exactly, does it feel strange to you?”
“It sure does, my little friend, it sure does! Does this mean that we are as one now?”
“I am not quite sure yet; I must feel it from you first.”
By these words my tears started running down my cheeks. I didn’t know why, but I have always pictured myself as a loner and this was something very peculiar and strange for me.
“Don’t worry Jay. Do you remember what the dandelions and the light said to us way back then?”
I dried my cheeks with my scarf and said; “yes and I don’t think I will ever forget it in our lifetime, L.J. In fact; everything around us said that we were one with them. The dandelions said that they were as the light shining down on us, like suns, each one of them. Then the light saying repeatedly: you are never alone, we are all one, through all eternity…
And the weed, the grass and the bushes were shining with a purple aura around them and inside this aura there were small beings floating or flying around. No, I will definitely never forget these moments in our life!”
L.J. was laughing his laughter now; the one I laughed more than 50 years ago.
I felt this bliss inside, filling my whole body; it was aching inside my chest. I had to lay down for a while and let the blessed tears just run by their own pace now.
“Surrender, surrender” was all I heard in my head or was it my heart or L.J.
“Let’s take a long swim now, Jay” “Yes, let’s do that!”
Again I ran into the water like a little boy would, except this time I swam far away out and then let myself just lay still and let the sea just swing me along.
I stayed for 20 minutes and then returned back to the beach which had started to be filled up with sun worshippers now.
“Time to leave”, I told myself, but there was no reply this time. I felt good anyway; I could need some time by myself for contemplation…
5
It’s a hand-me-down
The thoughts are broken
Perhaps they’re better left unsung
I don’t know, don’t really care
Let there be songs to fill the air
Ripples in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to be blown
Grateful Dead: “Ripples”
Home from the beach
Jay and Pearly Shade
Jay feels happy when he goes back home after the trip to the beach and the communications with L.J.
He feels like a little boy; whether it’s the ride on his bicycle or the meeting with the boy; it will be the same, because cycling is
an activity he has always enjoyed since he was a boy.
He rides along all the cafés along the Nea Hora Beach; it’s full of tourists now enjoying their holidays in the sun. He has never been a tourist himself, but he enjoys the sight of playing children on the beach and in the water. These people would come from his northern areas of Europe and this was their vision of Paradise on Earth.
They had 2 weeks with the sun and the lazy life on the beach; charging their batteries before they went home to jobs and school and rain and the cold Nordic climate.
He reached the main road and turned the corner and sped up his pace the last 100 meters to his house.
He parked his bike in the shed in the front garden, locked it and went up to the front door. He opened the door and could hear someone singing inside; following the music on his CD player. ”Ah, Pearly is here”, he said to himself. Pleased to have her around again.
She was his secretary and kept a neat protocol over his clients’ addresses etc. and more importantly; their healing progress as Jay kept a journal for each of them.
Pearly was also his friend and had been so for some years…
She was a remarkable woman to be around. She was the most balanced person Jay had met; which was also the reason why he had asked her to take the job after his former secretary who had gone home to Germany after many years down here.
To his amazement she had answered yes, on the spot. ”I have been waiting for this “proposal” since Ingrid left”, she said and sent him an inviting smile.
All his office routines went smoothly with Pearly. She was such a pleasant person to be with.
He came into the hall and saw her dancing around while singing. ”She could have been a singer too”. he thought, “she could become whatever she’d wanted to with all her talents and her character!”
“Hi Pearly!” he exclaimed, “I am going to have a shower, just 10 minutes.” “Go on; I am not going to disturb you, if you don’t want me to”, she shouted back.
He smiled and went into the bathroom, which wasn’t too big, but very elegant. Jay had a good taste for design and had had some arguments with the Architect and finally she had given in to his argumentation. It was tiled from the floor to the roof in black and white rectangular tiles with vague flower patterns. The bathroom have to be of high standard he told the Greek Architect. She was a proud, Greek woman and used to deal with macho Greek men. Jay had used some time to convince her that he was not like Greek men and especially not Cretan men.
She had laughed at his statement and then she’d become more willing to listen to him…
He had his shower and put on his Arabian Koftan that worked as a bathrobe…
Pearly was busy typing cards by her desk now and didn’t look up when he came into the office. She was always very focused on what she was doing; at any time. He was thinking as he always did when she was in his house: “what if we could be a couple?” He always put it aside after rethinking it; she was his secretary and wouldn’t it be a little awkward to be working with his partner and in the house all the time.
He had asked her once; as a joke, of course. She had looked at him with her most sincere expression, taking her time. Finally she had said: “I think that would have worked out well.” Jay had jumped in his chair, but just smiled at her. ”Maybe some day”, he replied and now it was her turn to smile back at him.
Since then they had always enjoyed each others’ company…
Pearly was in love with Earl Grey and used any chance she had to be close to him, but Earl was clear as always; in any matter: ”You know that I am married, don’t you Pearl? I have a good wife and I am never going to leave her.” Pearly knew this, but she liked his ways and his direct approach to anything that came in his way.
Earl, Pearly and Jay were a threesome who always had a good time together. They seemed to fit each other in all ways.
She had later asked Jay if they could have a session one day. She felt she had some problems with her feelings for Earl and wanted to clear it up as Earl was very clear in his views about this.
After the tiny session she had said; “you know, Jay, it’s only Earl or you that I could partner up with”.
Jay was put back about this; he just said that he’d keep it in mind…
6
Chet meets Earl Grey
It’s the day after his visit to Jay. Chet is sitting in the Bar Tropic, having a Margarita. It’s still early in the morning, but he has called Earl Grey over to have a chat with him about yesterday’s incident.
Bar Tropic is run by a British couple who are sweet enough; as they know how to treat their guests in their bar. The bar is a special place in the way that it’s built in to an old, ancient house which still carries memories which are blended with the flashy decorations the couple have created.
They have been allowed to paint and decorate as they like.
The colours are horrible here and there, but it’s fancy and their guests seem to like it.
The customers are mostly British and a few Greeks who want to have a different environment in a Northern European milieu than their well known Greek establishments.
Sometimes there are some Scandinavians popping in too, but they don’t stay long…
This early morning the only guest is Chet. He is sitting by the bar sipping his Margarita and chatting with the bartender, a sexy Greek girl who usually takes the morning and the late night shift. Chet still has a certain charm. He is what Jay calls a “Sweet William” who talks softly and politely with women. Sweet as he may seem; he’s very angry with them, and it shows when he cannot keep his “Sweet William” attitude any longer.
He is a moaner and opens up for anything sad he carries
inside.
The girls and women grow tired from listening to the same old stories, which are the same as he is telling Jay; and anyone else…
After half an hour Earl enters the bar and walks up to Chet who’s a little tipsy by now and into his first Heineken.
Earl smacks him on the shoulder and Chet turns around, with a red face, ready to return what he sees as an insult. He sees Earl and sighs. “Ah, it’s you Earl! Good to see you although you are a little heavy handed!”
“Nee buther, Chet, just a friendly gesture.” Earl loves to mock him a little for his accent.
Chet is feeling better now after his Margarita and Heineken. “Maria, can you pour up a beer for the hot dog merchant here!”
“No, no; it’s too early for me Chet. What is it you want to talk about?”
“Ah, I have messed up again; you know my temper.” And what kind of stupidity have you performed this time?” Chet looked at him. Chet knew he couldn’t get away with an easy explanation with Earl.
Earl didn’t care if people liked him or not. He had taken his stand many years ago and was happy with that; never stepped back for anyone.
Chet was still reluctant to tell anything, because he also knew that Jay and Earl were close friends and if he said something stupid he knew that Earl would be gone in a second.
“Come on Chet, I haven’t got all day!” Chet drank the rest of his beer and started to tell about yesterdays event. He was clear enough to realize that he had to put the blame on himself. Earl would spot any excuses or attempts to talk around the subject…
“OK, here it is; I made a fool of myself last night at Jay’s house and I don’t know how to make it up to him again. I am such a fool, but I don’t seem to be able to change it to the better.”
Earl looked at him and then he told Maria to bring a Greek Coffee for him.
Chet was not prepared for what was coming now; “You bloody idiot!” Earl said, ” you know as well as me that if you follow Jay’s recommendations, you can come to terms with yourself, but you are too bloody lazy, stubborn and self centred you little dick! Pull yourself together and do something right for once!”
No soft words delivered from Earl Grey; straight to the point; as he saw it…
Earl sat for a while in silence. He got his coffee and sipped down to the coffee grains. Then he rose up and turned to Chet again. “Pull yourself together and apologize to Jay and please; stop your drinking for a couple of weeks at least to clear up your brain if you still have one!”
Gone he was and Chet felt like the idiot Earl had called him. He rose up and paid Maria who just stood there eyeing him up and down. “Take care, Chet.” Chet nodded and was out of the door; his chin hanging down almost on his chest…
Maria heard him swear all the way up the alley…
7
Jay’s real nightmare
Jay is lying in bed. He has had a bad night after going through the session with Jock.
He went to bed early; exhausted after the special events happening to him. he cannot understand the position of L.J.
He turns and turns around, adjusts his pillow, checks the temperature on the air condition’s remote… turns it down, just to to turn it up again 10 minutes later.
Chet is only one of his cases, but the L.J. affair gives him more trouble; on a different level. He can not understand what is happening. How can the little boy that was him come back in such a way and behave like a Guru? How can his childhood memories pop up like this and in such a form?
“Now you are trying to be rational about something that is definitely not rational, Jay”. ”Psychologically you can call L.J. your Alter Ego; or a Sub personality coming up from your unconscious to tell you something significant; something you don’t want to see or touch, something you think you have finished.”
He twists and turns, scratches his aching body… Then gets out of bed to fetch a glass of water he left in the fridge. He picks it out and drinks it in 3 gulps; ”Ah! What am I doing this cold water can kill me drunken like this!” His chest aches from the ice cold water. He wanders around in the kitchen; paces around the table looking down at the floor.
He stops in the middle of the floor and looks down to the right and then to the left. ”What is this?” The floor is moving on both sides of him, like it was turning into a liquid form. He stands still and do not dare to move in case he should take a wrong step and drown. ”But this is my kitchen floor, made of concrete and laid with thick tiles!” Telling himself this; reassuring himself that his surroundings are quite natural, when they are not, as he sees it now, is way out of line. What to do?
He thinks of all the exercises he has been through in all the groups he has attended. He has had some very bad experiences and some very good ones. Now, being all by his own and in his own kitchen, he should be able to cope with it.
“But, on the contrary! I have no one to guide me or tell me what is happening right here and now!”
“OK, breath deeply and focus on your lower abdomen and let whatever happens happen.” With these words he manages to focus on the situation occurring around him. He looks down on the floor again, first to the right and then to the left.
On his right side, the white tiles have turned pitch black! When he looks down again he sees that it is shaped like an abyss. Way down there he can see something moving. Something light as smoke. It’s partly yellow, partly grey. It moves around like weed in the sea, but there’s nothing reassuring about that image. He feels cold and knows that it’s not the water that has kept him cold these minutes he has been walking around…
He quite clearly feels that he is being sucked down into the abyss. He feels all right about it though, because the shapes down there are some kind of life form; it’s not only a deep and bottomless abyss.
He steps very carefully now, because between his left and right side there is a log laid out that he has to balance on. Finally he turns to have a look on his left side; the floor is like it should be, at least the first 20cm, then the floor changes to a grassy small hill. On top of the hill he can see buildings and people moving around.
“Oh, my God!” he exclaims, “this is about life and death and I am given a choice whether I want to live or die!”
His whole body is shivering and sweating. He looks down to the right again and is tempted to just let himself fall into the abyss.
“If it’s death I know I am safe, but I feel like going up the green hill anyway. After all; it’s where I still belong.” He turns to the left and steps into the green grass, which is now turning into his kitchen floor again.
He can hear a deep sigh from his right side and then the whole kitchen floor is stabilized and turned into a regular floor and oh so well known white tiles again.
Tears are running down his cheeks. He feels relieved, but inside his chest there’s a tremendous pain… ”It’s not the heart”, he says to himself, “it’s not the heart”…
.
He stumbles back to bed, feeling numb now… He just falls down on the bed and is asleep before he reaches the pillow
8
The Threesome meet.
Jay wakes up, looking up to the ceiling. He is confused about last night. He cannot remember what went on. He knows there has been something strange happening to him,
but he doesn’t have the slightest clue of what it could have been.
He rose up and put his feet on the cool floor. ”If I sit like this and let the blood start streaming I will remember”, but he’s not quite sure if he wants to remember…
“OK, let’s face it Jay. Get up and make yourself some coffee, that’ll clear up your mind. A nice, strong cup of Espresso will do the trick!”
So, he gets out of bed and walks into the kitchen where he starts up his coffee machine.
He sits down by the glass and steel kitchen table, pondering his situation…
Still there’s no trace of any memories about last night.
“Pushed down into my deepest unconscious, I guess.”
The coffee machine whistles; telling him that his coffee is ready. He rises up from the chair and: “PLING!”; it’s all there! ”Oh my God, oh, my God! Yes, I can see it now, what the hell is happening to me!!”
He jumps over to the coffee cups and gulps down the first one, like it was medicine.
He walks around in the kitchen wondering what to do. ”I have to call Pearly and Earl! Yes, that’s it! Where’s my mobile?!”
He finds on the table and calls Pearly first. She answers at once; ”hi there, what’s up Doc?” He explains what has
happened the last 2 days; about Chet, L.J. and last nights shocking event.
“I’ll be there in 20 minutes”, Pearly says, “take care, dear!” He smiles at her last comment; she has never called him dear before,not like that, at least.
He calls Earl, but there’s no answer.
He goes into the bathroom to have shower and shave. After finishing he puts on the most appropriate outfit: shorts and a t-shirt.
He goes into the kitchen again and grabs the second cup of espresso; just lukewarm now, but it’s coffee and it will wake him up properly.
The doorbell sounds and Pearly comes in to the hall. ”Ah, Jay, I came as quick as I could, but you know the traffic and the Greek way of driving! You don’t look to demolished though.”
I just had a couple of espressos and a shower, so I guess I am presentable now.” “Inside I feel shaken up, though.”
His mobile stops him from saying any more. ”It must be Earl”, he says. He grabs the phone and says; “hello?” He points at the phone and whispers; “it’s him!”
They make an appointment to meet at the Agio To Kokkora in half an hour.
Pearly nods her agreement.
10 minutes later they take off on their bicycles; it’ll take them 5 minutes to go to the centre of town and by the main cathedral on Halidon; the road down to the harbour.
7 minutes later they have found their table underneath the big Mimosa outside Agio To Kokkora, which is a café Jay has visited many times during his years of staying after here.
The owner,who Jay named L.A. after his third visit; not the first letters of the American city, though…
The owner, Vangelis is his name, proved to be a xenophobic of high degree. He arrives in the morning and cries out his “Kali Mera” to his Greek customers, but not even a glance to his foreign guests who have been visiting his establishment for years, hence the name L.A. He is unwilling to serve foreigners and if he has to, he does it very quickly and with an expression of disgust.
His choice of music is astonishing, though. As a Westerner, Jay has always been delighted by his music.
Agio To Kokkora means “The Rooster’s Egg” and Jay’s guess is that the Rooster is L.A.
Seated by their table, Pearly and Jay hears a cry just up the Platia and recognizes the big man coming down to them is Earl Grey. He waves at them and as he arrives he hugs them both in the same embrace.
He looks at Jay and asks: “How are you, my friend?” ”Ah feeling better now with you two around! But I need some love and tender care and an open mind; I have things to tell you that you might even believe, but I swear to you both; I am going to tell you a true and almost unbelievable story today.”
They order an Avocado salad, that has become famous in Chania; to go with it they order a good white wine.
L.A. is not here and they are served by Maria who has worked here for a couple of years. She’s ok, but a little stiff and tied up.
As they are waiting for the food,Jay starts telling them about Chet first, “That Schmuck!” Earl exclaims after Jay has finished telling about his experience with him.
The salad and the wine arrives and they get busy eating and drinking and exchanging small talk.
When the meal is done and the wine drunken; Jay looks them up and asks them: “are you ready for a fantastic journey into my mind which will inflict my whole life and probably my career as a therapist too.
Pearly looks at him; “Come on, Jay I have been waiting for 2 hours now!” ”Yes, let’s hear it mate”, says Earl.
“OK, here it goes”, and he tells them about L.J.’s appearance one early morning and about his wobbling floor and what he saw in it.
It takes him an hour to tell, explain and provide information about his childhood and his psychological view of what is happening to him…
“But, my friends; I actually do not know what is going on. I can give you my analysis, but I think that will not be sufficient as an explanation as to what is happening.”
Pearly’s eyes are full of tears, but in between she smiles; she already adores L.J. and the way he communicates with Jay and how he appears to be a spiritual figure, to her, that is.
Jay is not quite sure, but he realizes that he has to be open to any comments and views from his two dear friends…
Earl is concerned and he is not quite satisfied with what Jay just has told them. For him the story is too far out. One thing he knows, though is that he will help out all he can, whether he believes in his story or not.
He tells both his friends about his decision and his view on what’s going on…
“As long as you are around I will always feel safe, Earl!” Jay says, “and the same goes for you,Pearly!”
They have been talking for 3 hours and most of what had been said is agreed upon among them.
“I have to go up to Maria now”, Earl says, “we are going to open in an hour.”
“Thanks for listening to me, Earl. I might need to talk with you again. I am afraid that this will be a tough ride.”
Earl nods and hugs them both again; “I’ll see you both again and, Jay, please take care and do not hesitate to call when you need to.” ”I will, Earl”
So, in this way they part. Pearly says she will go with Jay and he’s happy with that, really happy…
9
Chapter 3
Reach out your hand if your cup be empty
If your cup is full may it be again
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of man
The Grateful Dead: “Ripples”
Jay and Pearly’s night
Pearly and Jay go by the harbour and the road along the sea, passing the Public Swimming Pool. Pearly turns to Jay and ask him if he wants to dive in? ”Yes, but not here, let’s go back a little.”
They turn and go back about 200 meters.
Jay has been swimming here before, but a long time ago now…
They lock the bikes together and to a pine-tree with chirping Cicadas above their heads.
They walk down to some boulders by the sea and undress. ”Just to warn you, I never wear underwear here in this climate,” Jay looks at her to see how she will react. She just smiles, “there’s no one to see us here when we enter the sea, so I am not shy about that, in fact, it sounds good to be completely naked with you and the Mediterranean Sea!”
Jay laughs and feels very happy again! They both dive in and feel good about it. Jay dives all the way down to the bottom and then turns and swims up to the surface again. Pearly is just a few meters away from him and watching him. He smiles and says;”waiting for something?” ”Yes,” she says, “as I have for some years now…”
Jay swims up to her and puts his arms around her neck and his nose to hers. They just stay like this and then the kiss comes, almost by itself as the situation is very ripe for it…
Let’s swim a little further out, says Pearly and they do. They swim for about 50 meters and then they turn again, swimming back to the boulders; very close together.
They climb up to their clothes and dress in silence. Both know that this has been a blessed moment for them.
They walk hand in hand underneath the pine-trees and sniff in the strong smell of the trees.
“You, know, Jay, we have never been close, that is; close enough to appreciate the depth of our relationship.” ”My dear Pearl, today you said dear to me for the first time as you meant it. I felt very touched by it.”
“I always mean it, but disguise it I guess. Just because we have never taken the final step towards each other. We are both afraid to be too close, I think.”
“Let’s go home, Pearly, and spend the night together underneath my roof. I think we both need it.” She smiles at him and says: “let’s do that, Jay, my good friend.”
They do and arrive at the house in a very short time; as they are both eager to have their night together, for the first time.
When they enter inside, Pearly says that it has been a torture being with him for so many years without touching and hugging and kissing…
He tells her about his thoughts in this matter. He has held back his feelings because she was a friend and his secretary and then he couldn’t ask her to couple up with him on top of that. She just looked at him; “what! why not?”
“I am always very cautious about being too intimate with a friend. I believe it may ruin the friendship. If I come too intimate with a friend it will also affect our relationship within the larger group of friends.”
“On top of that I think I am shy and cautious by nature and feel that I am not good enough for a diamond like you, Pearl.”
She looks at him again and says: “A sweet and good man like you is better than any diamond, Jay; your character and stamina makes you a diamond for me.”
Jay doesn’t know what to say or do in this situation…
“Come on, Jay! Go get her!” It’s L.J.’s voice in his head again…
He smiles and laughs simultaneously now and tears are running down his cheeks.
“Oh, Jay, what is happening now?” says Pearly.
“He is here again and tells me to act as I should in a situation like this!” ”Who?” ”L.J.! He tells me to go and get you!” “Yeah! And are you going to?” ”Yes I definitely am!”
He went across the floor, took Pearly’s hand and led her into the bedroom.
“No time for showering in this first meeting”, he said and she didn’t protest.
They fell down into the bed. Clothes were torn off bodies and very soon they were naked with the duvet on the floor. They twisted around, kissing, licking, biting. stroking and touching; and when she opened up for him it was followed by a scream of lust and longing from both of them.
Their love play went on for 2 hours and then they both fell asleep like they were dead.
Nine o’clock in the evening they woke up, looked at each other and both agreed that; now it was time for a shower – together.
They went into the bathroom hand in hand with a big grin on their faces.
She turned on the shower, soaped herself in, while he was standing beside her, watching her beautiful and slender body. She turned to him and said:”you are welcome in too, Jay”. He stepped underneath the shower and helped her soap in her body; all over. She turned to him and did the same for him. When finished, she turned and put her hands on the wall and invited him to enter her again. He did. He slid into her and started a very slow moving from his pelvis area. He kept on like this and then stopped, but kept himself inside her as far in as he could, moving ever so slightly and carefully. They were staying like this for 20 minutes and she screamed and cried and shook all over; then she began to slide down the slippery wall until she was standing on her knees on the floor. He followed and was still inside her when they both fell to the floor. Still he didn’t pull back. They were as one now, in two bodies, but so entwined with each other that it felt like one body; giving itself all this pleasure…
Finally they fell all the way down to the floor, he slipped out of her and down on his stomach, beside her.
They laughed and laughed until they cried; mixing their tears with the still running water from the shower.
They managed to get up on their knees again and have another shower; holding each other and gently kissing and nibbling whatever part of their bodies they could reach.
“AAAAHHH!!” Jay cried out, “It’s such a long time ago and when you are the one I am having all this pleasure with, I surely must be in heaven by now”…
She grinned at him and went for the towels. She threw one at him and started to dry him. He just stood still and enjoyed it
all; what had happened and what was happening in this moment.
She dried him all over and looked up at him, saying: “How do you like your secretary now, my dear?”
“She has been perfect at all she has done for me up to this day, but now she has reached the state of a Star for me! Thank you, my love!”
At this, she looked at him and tears were running down her cheeks… She didn’t say anything at first, but after drying herself, she turned to him and said: ” I never thought this was going to happen and right now you called me “my love”. I need some time to comprehend what has really happened, but I am going to stay with you for a while, if you will let me?”
“Stay with me, Pearl, stay with me as long as you want. For ever if you like!”
“We need to land, a little at least now. Would you like to prepare a meal together with me? I have bought some chicken today, we can share it, can’t we?”
“Yes, my friend and love and boss! I am not leaving before you throw me out.”
“That’s a really good secretary statement, Pearly!”
In the kitchen they were almost dancing around the counters and chairs and tables as they prepared the chicken and salad. They couldn’t hold back their caressing, stroking and touching, but the dish was made ready, with love, I may say…
Jay opened a bottle of his favourite Italian wine from the Piemonte area in the Northern part of Italy and poured it up in two tall wine glasses.
“Taking out the best I have today, Pearl.”
“To make it even better you can call me what you called me earlier today: “My Love.” She smiled at him. ”As you wish, My Love!”
Finally they both sat down at the kitchen table. They were both happy with being kitchen attracted. Jay, because he was used to it from home, since he was a kid. Pearly because she was used to a huge dark oak dining table with only her and her parents, each seated in their own corners and with servants waiting on them.
She had hated it and since she moved from them, she had always preferred a simpler way of living.
They ate up all the food, both hungry after the love-making and the excitement from the stories that Jay had told earlier…
Now they sat down in his office to talk about where to go from here. Pearly lived in a studio in the centre, not far from “The Egg”, as Jay called Agio To Kokkora. she said she would be happy to live with him in his house, “for ever”, she added.
“You are welcome, forever, My Love!” was Jay’s response, “finally.”
They became more quiet as they sat together in his sofa, drinking wine. Finally Pearly turned to him and said: “Seriously, Jay, what are you going to do with all these events happening to you?”
“I have to take them as they come, don’t I? I have to see if I can find if there are some certain patterns to them and go from there.”
“While I was walking “the plank” in the kitchen, I found that I just had to be tantric about what happens; go with the flow; don’t fight it. Follow my heart and my soul an, hopefully L.J.
I think he is going to run me up the walls soon. He really feels that I need it. He says I am stuck.”
“In what way, stuck?” ”That I have let myself being captured by career, money, work and things that really doesn’t count in this life.”
But you are, working because you need the money and you like your profession, don’t you? I can’t see that you are very demanding and ladder climbing.”
“No, you are right about that, but sometimes I think I am too modest. I have received some comments on that lately…”
“These sources say that I am squandering my talents. What I do is ok, but it’s too small. These sources are among others; myself and my past. Where I come from one shouldn’t think oneself being better than others. So I was taught to keep my head down, so to speak.”
“I have been happy here, with my bicycle and the few clients I have and my good friends, some better than others!”
Jay raised his glass towards Pearly and she smiled and said “cheers!”
“So, you want to stay for ever, seriously?” Jay said, “marriage?”
“We can think about that for a while, but certainly; the ‘for ever’ phrase sounds tempting to me!”
“OK, so that’s settled then. I want you to stay, you know.” “Yes, of course I know! I am a woman, you know.”
“Yes… I know!”
Jay looked at her and asked her what she was thinking of the whole situation he had stumbled into.
She looked at him and said: “please, give me some time to think, Jay. What has happened is so way out of line for me that I need to adjust to what it all may apply to.”
“What I see though, is that the man I love has had some experiences that I cannot explain, but just observe as I see you struggling, my dear, and I want to stand by you all the way and hopefully some day I will understand what has happened. I think that when that day arrives I will have learned a lesson I cannot comprehend today.”
“That’s a statement I can live with, absolutely, Pearly. I am very grateful to you, as I am to Earl for standing by me. I am afraid I will need it and hope that it will not be too much for my best friends.”
He paused and said: “Pearly, I need to go to bed now and to have you by my side”…
“Let’s go to bed and thank you for one of the best days I have had for a long, long time, maybe the best… I feel that I have landed into something good!” She rises up from her chair and comes around the table to kiss him all over his face; ”Thank you, my love! thank you”…
And again they go hand in hand into the bedroom…
Jay feels consolidated…
10
L.J. and Jay meet again
There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone
Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow
Grateful Dead: “Ripples”
The morning sun awakens the couple and Jay is quick to get out of bed and into the kitchen where he prepares two cups of tea for them.
Coming into the bedroom he notices that the bed is empty. He listens for a sound from her and then spots it from the bathroom; she is having a shower. ”How neat”, he thinks… ”She is still here and yesterday was for real!”
He puts the tea cups on the bed tables and waits for Pearly…
She is singing in the shower now, he can hear.
Smiling he sips his tea and his thoughts are going far away to a future with Pearly. He can barely conceive what has happened since their meeting with Earl, only yesterday.
Here she comes, with his Koftan on. ”Ah; you look brilliant, almost like an Arabian lady from 1001 nights. A little too blond, though”, he says.
She sits down beside him and takes her cup of tea. So they just sit there; sipping and smiling in between; they just can’t help themselves from doing it…
The tea is finished and Pearly turns to Jay and says: “I need to go up to my studio and pack things now and I will be back this afternoon, maybe a little late; I have to pay the last rent and it’s not easy finding the landlord”.
“Take your time Pearl, but do come back!” He smiles at her as she does at him. She goes to dress, while he goes into the office to find some data on the next client, which is a rare one…
Pearly soon joins him and after a couple of kisses and more hugs, she leaves. It seems difficult, but as she says; “what needs to be done, must be done. I’ll see you, my love!”
Big smile from her as she says that…
Off she goes and Jay is walking around in his red office; “she said she liked the colours in this room, didn’t she? Or has she commented it at all? Can’t remember”…
He walks over to the red armchair and sits down, looking out at the dark blue Mediterranean Sea and the peninsula across the bay and the Theodoros Island with all the Kri-Kri sheep. This special and rear sheep can only be found on Crete and this little island is now a preservation area for them. No tourists or anyone who haven’t got the stamped allowance from the Mayor’s Office can go ashore there.
He sees this and himself sitting in the chair contemplating the last two days’ events.
Where is L.J. now? He sure would like to have his view of what is happening.
“You are expanded now, Jay!” a well-known voice says. Do you know what that means?”
Jay looks up as if to see the boy in front of him, but he is not of matter, he is a spirit, or what?
“That’s right, Jay, you can only see me as a spirit.”
“Hello, L.J.; does that mean that you are an angel now?”
“Hmm, I don’t have an answer to that, Jay. I would have to be your very private angel then, wouldn’t I? I cannot enter any other human, you know; and if it is so, you are an angel too, don’t you think? I mean, as I am a part of you”…
Jay contemplates this and have no answer to it himself. ”I have to think about your statements, L.J. and maybe I can find an answer, for myself at least.”
“But would it be the right answer, you believe?”
“As far as I am able to understand; it will be, but I might need to go deeper and deeper with these questions. I imagine there are many, many layers here!”
“Ah! You are perfectly right, Jay! Happy the hear that you are going into this matter with me! You know; angels exist, but not in the imaginary shapes humans want to see them.”
“Yes I know, we are still under the influence of priests and false prophets, I believe.”
“I am amazed by the way you talk today. You haven’t been talking to me like that before. Is it the affair with this lovely woman you were spending the night with?”
“No, it’s my own realization that helps me to bend my neck and be humble, but to be humble I have to be strong. You are helping me to really see what I have to do in my life and in this world. I still have a long way to go, L.J.”
“It depends on yourself. I can feel that you take me in as a part of your life again, my friend; and that makes us one, for a while. That you are able to realize this makes it easier for you, of course.”
“Anything to tell me on what I need to do further on?”
“Walk in your own tracks, Jay; you have a lot of experience to build on. I will watch over you and come back when it’s needed to see if it’s working out for you, if not I will pop up before you know it!” Then he laughs our laughter! Jay feels happy with the situation!!
L.J., are you still there?
No word from the little angel.
As before, Jay feels satisfied anyway, because every conversation he has with him gives so much to think upon and it may take days before Jay sees what L.J. is telling him…
So he sits still in his ruby red arm chair and watches the view outside; contemplating today’s exchange of views…
He is thinking of his two friends that he has involved in his confusion and his every day life with all these calamities going on.
Is it right for him to do this; shouldn’t he find his own way through his own mess?
He knows that he would stay with his friends if they had trouble in their lives. ”Everybody needs the comfort of
friends, colleagues and family now and then”, he said out in the room…
“A little guilt has to show up too”, he ensured himself.
11
Chet appears again…
Jay is having a cup of coffee by the “Nea Hora” beach in the Cappucio Cafe where they have the best Cappuccino He is waiting for his friend Fadi to arrive.
It is still an hour before lunch and he had brought a news paper
to read while waiting and enjoy it along with his coffee and a croissant.
He starts reading, but is distracted by the view around him. He is sitting underneath the palm trees by the sidewalk. People are constantly passing by; some wet, some sunburned; splashing water and sand around them.
Some are pretty, some are fat, some are young ans some are old.
On beaches like this in this area of the world it doesn’t matter how you look. Everybody is there just to either have the desired tan before they leave after a 2 weeks’ vacation, or someone is there to cool off in the water and meet friends; generally just hanging around… Some fall in love with the beautiful, young Greek men and boys and some are being ripped off by smart salesmen and regular crooks.
Gypsy women are screaming out today’s offers; today they are selling beautiful damask tablecloths. These women have a bad temper and they never hesitate to bully their potential customers if they are not willing to pay up what they charge…
Some are there to have a massage by a troop of Chinese massagists and massaggeuses who are visiting the beaches of Crete every summer season.
Jay sits on and tries to read, and he manages for a while until he is
disturbed by someone he doesn’t want to meet.
A tap in his shoulder and as he turns her is confronted with Chet’s purple face; obviously he’s already had a couple of beers. ”Hi Doc; enjoying the view and the sun?” Chet is ever so casual and smiling…
“Hi Chet, I have to tell you straight out that I’d rather sit here alone than having you around me right now. I hope you can understand that?”
He notices that Chet’s face is darkening and expects the worst. ”I was coming here to apologize for my bad behaviour the last time we me, but it seems that you don’t want to hear what I have to say about it. You know, I have the right to express myself in this matter too!”
“Chet, sit down please. If you want to apologize then do it, but you have to be sincere about it; if not I’d rather not see you in my vicinity anymore!”
The Chet explodes again. He has taken a position just half a meter in front of Jay’s chair and suddenly he kicks the chair over so Jay tumbles down and into the gutter. The he comes down on Jay and starts punching him in the face and abdomen area. Jay is prepared this time and quickly manages to kick Chet in his groin and he falls over and into the street while screaming: “You maniac! You Academic asshole maniac!!”
People have gathered around them and a couple of big Greek men are pulling Chet up by the armpits, holding him back. They have witnessed what has happened from the very beginning and now they are dragging by the armpits along the sidewalk and then all the down the beach and when they reach the sea, the keep on walking into the waves until they are far out and then they just shuffle him into the sea.
Jay has got up on his feet again and is taken care of in the cafe. He hasn’t been wounded too much by Chet’s punches, but he is feeling devastated by the whole incident.
Still he is worried about Chet; “can he swim? Have they done
him any harm?”
He is also thinking of himself and about an eventual aftermath of the whole event…
He goes down to the sea and there, far out; he can see Chet wading towards the beach and where he lives. He’s angling his walk to avoid anyone who has witnessed what happened. Soon he reaches the beach at the far end of it and creeps up on the sand and stumbles along until he disappears around the next corner.
Jay goes back inside again and orders a Brandy for his comfort.
He sits down by the window to watch for Fadi when he arrives outside.
Fadi has been a close friend for a couple of years now and they often go out together to share a meal or a special event. Fadi is small, but good looking. He’s annoyed by his size. He is longing for a woman to share his life with. He comes from the Middle East area, but left for the west when he was a young man. He doesn’t want to go back to his homeland too often and has taken on a western way of living. He is a good cook and often invites Jay over for a delicious meal. He is always a pleasant company for Jay, but underneath his smooth surface he carries anger. He is working on it, but sometimes he admits that the mentality of the Middle East is coming up in him…
20 minutes later he arrives outside and the waitress to tell him tha Jay’s waiting for him inside.
Fadi enters and looks for Jay and sees his bruised face and his swollen right eye ”Jay! What’s happened to you?!” ”Cand sit down with me Fadi and I will tell you.”
Fadi walks up to the bar and orders a coffee. Coming back to the table he takes a closer look at Jay. ”Tell me, please”, he says.
Jay tells and tells again to give Fadi fair chance to fully understand
the reasons why he has been attacked. ”Are you sure you want to keep on with this job, my friend?”
“It’s what I know. Humans have always attracted me. They are a great species,but also great in the terms of carrying deep sorrows,
deep fear and the ability to act on them in a way these emotions are demanding them to. That’s when we commit so called “sins”, which are just very devastating forces that tear us apart sometimes.
This phenomenon is what the old Greeks called the “Thanatos and Eros Complex” where Thanatos is the bad and destructive force in our lives and Eros the opposite. They are not good nor bad, but just a picture of the balance in all living beings. These forces complement each other…”
“Wow! I didn’t mean to go that far, but what you say is interesting.”
“Yes, Fadi, it is, but sometimes we are hit by these forces, you know. That’s what happened today.”
“What are you going to do about it? Report it to the police?”
“I was just thinking of this, before you came; listen: I have done this before. Following the recommendations that Don Juan gave Castaneda about how to deal with petty tyrants. You mentioned once that you have read his books, didn’t you?”
“I have, but I don’t go as deep as you. Tell me more; what will you have to do to get rid of this one?”
“That’s where I probably need some help from my friends, Fadi. Can we just go home to my place; Pearly will be coming home soon, she was just going to the market to buy vegetables for a salad and we can talk about this together. Maybe we can persuade Earl to join us too.”
“Pearly, I hear rumours about you two! Are they true? You know you cannot hide anything in our small society here in Chania.”
“I know and I am happy that th good news is spreading!”
“Shall we go Fadi?”
“Ok, let me finish my coffee first.”
Jay waits for his friend, looking out the window…Fadi finishes and they are ready to take a 15 minutes’ walk to Jay’s house. When they arrive they can hear Pearly inside. she is singing again… ”I tell you Fadi; this woman is probably the most precious treasure I have held in my arms my entire life and I am not going to leave her, ever!”
Fadi laughs happily. ”I am sure Jay and I am happy for both of you!”
They enter the house and the singing stops. ”Hello, my darling! You can keep on singing if you want. I like your voice very much you know”… “Is that the only thing you like about me?” ”Give me a week and I will be able to map up everything that I like about you, my love!”
“OK, but then”… She enters the hall and sees Fadi there. ”Oh, we’ve got guests I can see. Hello Fadi, are you staying with us for a late lunch?” ”I’d be glad too, Pearly!”
Then she finally turns to Jay and notices the bruises in his face and his swollen and black eye. ”Jay! What has happened to you now!”
“I’ll tell you after we’ve started eating…” ”Ok, but…” “It’s not as bad as it seems Pearly and I promise I will tell you while we’re eating.” They all go inside and into the kitchen where Pearly has prepared a delicate salad. ”Good men: let’s take this out on the balcony and in the shadow, shall we?” she says. None of the good men are unwilling to help…
“All arranged on the balcony, Pearl”, Jay says. ”OK I’m coming out right now; can you bring the bread and the wine please?” ”Yes of course, darling.” so he goes into the kitchen and opens a bottle of white wine and picks up the basket of bread.
Both Fadi and Pearly are devastated by the violence of it.
“You have to remember that I am the one who is revealing his bad
sides and sometimes I have to provoke him to make a breach in his
thick walls. so I will be the one that he can pour out his aggression on. He is angry with women, but has to please them, because they give him what he longs for; the caressing from women. Still, there has to be a border set somewhere; where he has to be denied access; the point of no return, if you want…”
“When will that moment appear, my love?” “We are going to start on that process now. After the last attack I know that this relation just can’t go on; both for him and me.”
“How can we start then?” Fadi asks.
“OK, here it goes: a question for you two first; have you ever read
Carlos Castaneda and specifically about Petty Tyrants”
Fadi says “Yes, but I cannot remember it all. I am sorry; it’s a long time ago.”
Pearly says:” Yes I have read him and I remember that we were a small group of friends that roamed forests, mountains and spooky places to find sources of power. I also remember some situations where petty tyrants were involved; they were a nasty creed as far as I remember!”
“OK. Fine. These days we would call them bullies, but the petty tyrants Castaneda described were real monsters, that’s for sure! The clue here is that Don Juan described in one particular book how to get rid of them. If you are coming under the power of a petty tyrant; you must do something out of the ordinary; something exceptional that the bully cannot foresee, especially not from you; his victim.
In other words; I am going to create a situation for Chet that he would not expect from me. It involves a couple of friends of mine; Albanians, but not of the roughest mafia kind. They are ordinary guys working in restaurant in the center of town. I will not reveal their names; they will need all the immunity they can have.”
Fadi looks up and says: “What would you make them do to get rid of him and what will it do to him?”
“I will ask them to go Chet’s apartment in Christopoli and ruffle him up a bit and tell him that they will keep an eye on him all the time as long as he stays here, if he stays here. Your comments will be appreciated.”
Pearly says: ” I can’t just believe that Chet will accept this. Surely he will see you as the culprit, don’t you think? His next step would be to attack you again and maybe me or Fadi or some other friends…”
“Yes, I have thought of that possibility too, but I think that option might be avoided.”
“How?” says Fadi.
“I will have to see how our plan works out and then I’ll tell you. If it doesn’t I have to find another solution.”
“One thing, Jay; I cannot see you beaten up one more time, then I will call the police, whether you like it or not!” Pearly says with pondus.
Fadi says:” Jay, you told me today that you had done this before. Would you mind telling us how you did it? I am very curious as to how it can be applied to a bully!”
Jay looked at him for a while, contemplating… ”OK, I’ll tell you briefly what happened: I was working in Split, Croatia at the time during the war on the Balkans. Me and another guy were running the radio room as radio operators. There was a Pakistani accountant in charge of the economy department. He was a very tidy and punctuate man and a nuisance in his ways. As long as everything went well there were no problems.
What then happened was this: he came into the radio room one day and accused us for using the fax line illegally to phone home. We denied this, but then he produced a print out from the PTT Office in town that showed our phone numbers at home. I still protested; arguing that my daughters and my girlfriend were staying with me for 2 months this summer and I couldn’t have called them in that period. He was not satisfied with this of course and he left the radio room.
One day he came by the radio room and said that he had to stop my payments for this month until our case was settled. I looked at him and just jumped out of my chair. He retreated into the corridor, but I was unstoppable at the moment and I ran after him and grabbed him by the collar. I lifted him up against the the wall and held him there, saying: “You are not allowed to do that! I have a house and a household to pay for at home where my daughters stay with their grandmother and I have an expensive apartment to pay for here!!” Then I let go of him and he ran straight into the head manager’s office. I was later called in to the very same man. I told them that I would not pay more than 1000DM and no more!
We had taken these phone calls, but it was annoying and humiliating for us and that triggered an anger in me that was unique. I have never suffered so much from it before.
I couldn’t sleep at night and I couldn’t eat. I was angry and aggravated all the time. I lost weight and felt in all ways uncomfortable…
One night when staying at home I remembered the chapters in Castaneda’s book about petty tyrants and decided that I had to do something abut this situation I had brought myself in During the night I found a plan for it…
The next morning at the office I went straight to Marwin’s office and knocked at his door. I opened it and went in before he could say enter. I closed the door behind me and said good morning in the most polite manner while smiling. I am telling you: |I really felt relieved already! After my greetings I just sat down in one of the visitor’s chairs without waiting for his permission. Marwin was just sitting there; looking afraid and flabbergasted…
I said: “Marwin, I want to thank you for showing me the right way in this matter.” Then I put 1000DM on his desk. Then; to his astonishment I went around it and aimed my steps towards him and approached him slowly, all the time smiling. He backed his swivel chair up against the wall. I took the last step and threw my arms around his neck and kissed both his cheeks while I repeatedly said:”thank you, thank you!”
Then I backed out and left the office…
There was never a word about the this case as long as I stayed there…”
“Wow!”, Fadi said, “I understand; you should never be that intimate to a Pakistani mans, you know!”
Pearly was just looking at Jay with her mouth wide open. Then she said: “can you create something similar again?”
“I hope so my love!”
After this they went into the living room and sat down for a chat until Fadi said he had to leave; he had some business to attend to. ”What kind of business is that, Fadi?” Jay asked with a faint smile on his face. ”I am going to Spain next week
and need to prepare for it.” ”Fadi, what’s going on here? do you think I can guess?” Jay said. ”Yes I believe you can”, Fadi said…
OK, Fadi”, Pearly said, “thank you for coming, it’s been a pleasure having you here” ”Oh, no”, Fadi said, “the pleasure is completely on my side.”
So, then followed farewells in the hall and Fadi went off…
croenning@rocketmail.com
12
Pearly, Maria and Earl meets at the Muses
Earl, Maria and Pearly meet in the harbour to try find a solution to the Jay and Chet problems.
They have chosen the Muses Café, which is one of the biggest and oldest cafés in the most popular area by the square at the end of the Halidon Street. The food is not too good. Muses is mostly a quick café for tourists. It’s a nice place to sit and observe people; there’s many of them passing on their way around the harbour, which is a beautiful view in itself, although a little worn down now.
Pearly has told them about the 2nd attack from Chet.
“They both need protection and help I believe and I think he needs to be approached in a more soft way than you have suggested, Earl,” says Maria.
Pearly nods… The two women have been talking for a while, but Earl hasn’t said too much yet, but he is listening to every word being said between the them. Now he has heard enough to fully participate in the conversation.
“I have been listening to you and I have had a chat with Jay and I have been updated on the latest insults from Chet. I agree with you that both need a long treatment. What is going on with Jay otherwise; I don’t know. He will need our full support I suppose and he has to use his knowledge end expertise on what is happening with him; I hope…”
“What do you mean by treatment, Earl? I can understand that Chet needs to get out of here to stop his drinking first of all. The alcohol is the cause that is changing him to a monster and he might be heading for a lot of trouble the way he is behaving nowadays”, says Pearly.
“I have been talking with a couple of friends in London. They say that Chet can be helped there. It’s too easy for him to keep up his drinking here. There’s no one to restrain him as he is known as the guy who always needs ‘a beer for the road’ at any time of the day… “
“He needs to have a purpose if he’s going to stay on, something that gives another kind of satisfaction than Heineken, but how can we do that; can he be approached at all? Jay has tried for a year, but it’s only become a weekly chat for Chet, nothing more to it”, says Pearly, “Jay wants to set up a plot for him with actions that will totally change him. You have probably heard about it?”
Earl nods; “there was a time many years ago when I read all the books of Castaneda and I was really amazed by what he had to say. Petty Tyrants as we know as bullies nowadays, were described in detail and boy! They were nasty beings! It might help. Chet cannot just sit down and moan about his sad life in that scenario! I think it’s worth a try…”
“That’s fine by me too. I am worried about Jay if he’s being attacked once more I will call the police, for sure!” says Pearly
“Don’t forget that Jay is out on another mission here too, Pearly. He has another view and knows better than anyone here how deeply affected Chet is. I can imagine that there are blocks as long and strong as the Chinese Wall inside this little prat!” After saying this Earl looks at them both and says: “so, if we follow Don Juan’s recommendations we have to come up with something significantly scary that will literally shake Chet out of his present moods!”
“I still believe in a soft approach. We can do something that shakes him out of his recent patterns in a way that will make him able to realize what is happening to him”, says Maria.
“I don’t think softness will help ‘Sweet William’ as Jay calls him. That’s his specialty you know; to fall into long conversations about how stupid he is and how lost he is. He calls himself a ‘good for nothing’ man you know. He has persuaded himself to see himself in that way; in share self pity of course, to get attention and maybe some care; from women, that is…”
“I think we have to inform Jay about our talks today and let him have a look into it and find the right way. It’s funny, but this may be the only way to cure Chet, you know…
I have to go back to the house now. Why do I say it like that? Why don’t I say ‘go home’ in stead?”
Earl and Maria laugh at her. Maria says: “It takes some time doesn’t it? You have been single for many years now, haven’t you?”
“Yes, and free as a bird, but I knew that I would be tired of it one day – in some way or the other. Mind you, I feel pretty free to come and go now too; Jay is quite happy to have some time by himself; and he needs it, poor man!”
She gets up to leave when Earl rises up from his chair and gives her a good and strong hug. “I am very happy for my two friends, you know, very happy that it ended like this, so far…
Don’t forget to inform our friend.”
croenning@rocketmail.com
13
Chet meets what he doesn’t expect
It’s early Monday morning in Christopoli, Chania. Two men are parking their shabby, old car outside a 3 stories block. They stay in the car and opens the windows as they are smoking.
People are going to work along the street. Two young boys are driving a motorbike by the car; one of the men in the car stops them by waving his hand out the window. The boys stop and listen to what the man is asking for. “Do you live in this area, boys?” They confirm that by nodding. “Do you know if there is an English man living in this block?” The boys turn to each
other and talk a little among themselves, they nod again and points up to the 2nd floor. “How does he look?”, asks the man in the car again. The boys have a chat again and tell the man that he is small, has a big belly, he is short with black hair and talks funny English. He is often drunk and his face is always purple, but he dresses well; a little old fashioned, but… nicely.”
The man gives them 20 Euros each and thank them.
They sit for a while until the morning rush of people have passed.
They leave the car, pulls off the registration plates and walks over to the block. The door is open and they enter. They walk up the stairs in silence; they move cautiously to avoid any noise. Entering the second floor there are two doors. On the first it says: Manolis and Maria Papadopolis, on the other it says Chet Morris. There’s no peeping hole in the door and the men smile and nod to each other. They press the door bell button and a “DING DONG!” sounds loudly inside. They wait, but there’s no sounds so hear inside. They push the button again, but still no reaction inside.
Now they start banging the button on and on, at least 10 times and finally there’s a sound from inside; a loud sound, a scream and swearing in English…
The two men stick up their thumbs.
Inside they can hear someone shuffling in slippers it seems. Then the door opens and Chet’s face is shining inside. “What do you want! It’s just 8 in the morning!” The men do not hesitate any more; the one closest to Chet grabs him by the throat and whispers in his ear: “Stop moaning little dick. We have some important information for you. Information that can guide you to a better life…” He pushes Chet inside, still holding the grip around his throat. Chet is gasping now and has gone numb hanging by the man’s strong fingers. “Don’t be afraid, you will not die, yet. You see it’s up to you Chet. If you stay quiet and cooperate and listen to what we have to tell you, this little operation will soon be over, you understand?” Chet looks at them both and nods. “OK, smart move, Chet!” Then Chet is pushed down into the sofa and the other man sits down beside him, squeezing him up in the corner. The biggest man who seems to be the manager of all this, pulls a chair up in front of Chet, He sits down on it, close enough for his knees to ouch Chet’s.
“So, Chet; here comes the information that we have for you: at 11 o’clock there’s a British Air Ways flight leaving from Chania to London Heathrow. You are going to be on that plane and we will transport you to the airport, gratis! Isn’t that a nice offer? What do yo think, Chet?”
Chet is turning more and more purple and for the first time he addresses the men: “Who are you, why do you do this to me?”
Let’s say we have some friends in common and, Chet; don’t be stupid, don’t ask any more questions, because we might get impatient with you.”
Chet looks at them, one at a time and says: “I am not willing to go with you. I do not think this is for the best for me as you seem to think!” He is angry now.
The two men look at each other and suddenly the one in the sofa hits him on top of his head with his knuckles.
Chet is devastated. “As I just told you, Chet, keep quiet and no harm will be done to you. Now, go and put some clothes on your fat body and pack your suitcase; one is enough.”
Chet was assisted into the bedroom with one man standing just centimetres away from him all the time.
He dresses and packs his suitcase and in less than 20 minutes he’s ready.
His follower says: “You see how quick this can be done; nice effort, Chet.”
When both Chet and his follower came into the living room they could smell a nice aroma of coffee from the kitchen. The other man comes out with three cups of coffee. Chet looks at him and says: “I don’t drink coffee, I ‘d like to have a cup of tea in stead.” The man places two coffee cups on the table and turns to Chet with the last one in his hand. He just looks at Chet and says: “ You cannot keep quiet, can you?”
I just don’t want coffee”, Chet stutters. “OK, I have to do this my way then”, says the man in front of him and suddenly he flings the hot coffee in to Chet’s face. Chet falls on his back, gasping. His bed room follower pulls him up by is armpits and pushes him down in the sofa again. No one bothers to dry his face.
“We’ll sit down and have our coffee now in peace and quiet. You have had your instant coffee already, so let us have ours now without making any more noise.”
Chet gave up. He sank into the sofa cushions and just stared apathetically out into the room.
“And, Chet. If you make any more trouble we will not hesitate in using these.” The two man pull out rubber batons place them neatly by their coffee cups…
“Why”… Chet tries to say something again and receives a smack on top of his head again, with the baton this time from the man sitting by him in the sofa.
“Chet, from now on, we will have to hit you on your head every time you start fuzzing by our operation. I am not going to tell you this again.”
The men finish their coffee and one of them brings the cups in the kitchen and clean them with paper tissue.
“He comes out again and says: “time to go!” And the man in the sofa grabs Chet by his elbow and lifts him up in a standing position. The other one already has Chet’s suitcase in his hand.
“Ah, Chet, did you remember your passport? Can not travel without, you know.” Chet looks at him and is amazed by these men’s performance.
He goes into the bedroom again, followed by the other man now. 2 minutes and they’re ready to go. Chet has turned white in his face, very afraid of what is going to happen.
Outside, they climb into the car and start up. It’s just about a 20 minutes’ drive to the airport.
The big man sits with Chet in the back seat. He pulls out an envelope from his jacket and hands it to Chet. “We have provided you with some money, in case you need it. There’s 100 £ inside and your one way ticket. There will be someone picking you up at the airport to take you to a place that will make your future life less complicated.”
Chet have nothing add to this.
He sits in the back seat looking out on the island he has been
living on for almost 2 years; tears in his eyes.
“Oh, isn’t that touching! He is turning sentimental; oh that’s very sweet!” The man beside him chuckles.
Chet can not take this and launches out to hit the man, but he is prepared and the baton is out in a second and a second later it’s landed on Chet’s head again…
The man shakes his head and says to his companion: “he isn’t very smart, is he? But it seems like he is thick headed and can take a but or two, this man!”
Chet has fallen towards the door and now he sinks down by it with his eyes closed…
He wakes up by someone shaking him 10 minutes later.
“OK, Chet, here we are; at the beautiful airport of Chania, thanks for riding with us and we hope you’ve had a pleasant journey. Don’t come back again, please!”
They guide him out. The big man holding him in a strong grip by the elbow. The other hand is in his pocket holding the baton.
They go with Chet to the check in counters and are ever so helpful, all the way, until Chet can leave for the international area. The big man whispers in his ear: “no beer, Chet, no beer!”
Chet just looks at him.
Then he leaves…
croenning@rocketmail.com
14
These things you keep
you better throw them away
turn your back on your soulless days
once you were tethered, now you are free
once you were tethered, now you are free
that was the river, this is the sea
The Waterboys: “This is the Sea”
Hard lesson
Jay has got a mail from Asa Cedar and he has arranged with Gortex to
drive him to the airport to pick her up at 4 o’clock in the afternoon.
Gortex is a young Polish man. He and his partner Basia have taken over
the Cafeneion. Jay has been very happy since the came since they came down from Warsaw last week. They are both young and they are both economists. Jay hopes that this will count for another kind of quality;
anything has to be better that the way it used to be…
Gortex was happy to take a trip out of town with his “Skoda Turbo de Luxe” as Jay called it . This wasn’t its right name, but Jay has forgotten all about cars many years ago. He rented one now and then; when friends came visiting. Otherwise he couldn’t care less; he was happy with his bicycle, he never went too far anyway.
Now Gortex had the opportunity to get away from the cleaning and rehabilitation process for a while. He loved to drive and he told Jay that he was going to start a company dealing with parts for Skoda…
Jay was sitting outside in the front garden; it was still shadow there, underneath the plum tree that was full of small plums now. He arranged the coffee table and chairs; waiting for Pearly to come and help him with with Asa’s case.
And she came out , wearing a minis skirt today. Jay looked at her and said:” mmm, what a lovely partner I have found!” She smiles at him at him and moves her hips a little extra as she comes down the stairs; “satisfied?” she says. “Absolutely”, Jay replies.
They sit down by the table and and Pearly picks out Asa’s files and hands it to Jay. Jay opens them and reads while drinking his morning tea
Pearly leans back and enjoys the mild breeze coming trough the garden.
Jay finishes his reading and shakes his head; “not as bad as Chet, but still, she needs to improve this little lady”.
“I have never met her “, Pearly says. “No, that’s right. I wonder why not?” Pearly looks up and says;” because I haven’t been around when she’s been here… Oh, sorry! I was once; we had dinner at the Italian restaurant in Topanas. Venito, isn’t that the name of it? She was very special and extrovert if I remember right”…
“Yes, you’re absolutely right, my love, she’s an artist who has been sucked into the world of fame and she is disturbed by it…”
When is she coming today?” “We will pick her up at the airport at 4pm; me and Gortex one of the new owners of the Cafeneion. Would you like to join us?” “I don’t know. She strikes me as very extrovert and not easy to be around, but I guess I can go out with you tonight?” “Sure, I would love to see you two together. Earl is probably coming too, but he sounded a little dubious today as if he was having a flu.”
“Ok, let’s make that a deal then”. “You’re in, my love”…
I have to meet Roll and Ev today, we’re going to have an exhibition in the mosque this weekend and we have to discuss how to arrange the various artists; you know, there’s not too much space in there”. “Yes, I know. Ah, I should like to do some paintings too; it’s been a long time since…”
“You can start painting when Asa leaves, cant you?” “Yes, maybe. Thanks for encouraging me!”
She smiles, kisses him on both cheeks and goes to the shed to pick up her bicycle. “See you tonight, the latest then!” she says and blows another kiss at him. “I am looking forward to it!” he replies.
He goes inside to fetch some more tea and comes back out again and sits down by the table again. He looks up to the blue sky, saying: “Yes, it’s coming true, it’s happening!” He sips his tea and whispers out in the air still looking up to the sky: “Come now! Help me out of this please.”
“Out of what, Jay?” The boy’s vice is unmistakeable; L.J. Is with him again. “I think you know what L.J.”, Jay says.
“Ah, it’s about your death wishes, is it?” “Yes, you know it is. I don’t seem to be able to get out of this nightmare”.
“Whose nightmare is it? You are the therapist, you have read loads of psychology and now I want you to answer me; who’s nightmare is it?!”
Jay sinks down on the floor and sits down on his knees; tears running down his cheeks. He’s not ready for this, not yet…
“Why avoid it, again? Your mother put your lifelong depression in you from you were born. She whispered in your ear when you were 5 years old that you and the rest of the family would never achieve anything in your lives. I ask you again; whose nightmare is it?!” ANSWER ME, NOW!”
“Yes, it was my mother’s nightmare, I know, but I cannot get away from it. It’s about the whispering, as you know yourself.”
“Jay, are you a therapist or not? I start sympathising with your bad client Chet now, you seem to be stuck in a trauma that will block your creativity and love for life. What would you do if one of your clients were talking like you do now?
Well, I would talk like you do now”. “OK. Then you do understand. For a moment I thought you were totally lost!” “Turn your questions around and make them your own and give yourself the right answers; you know the answers or have you forgotten that?”
“I admire the way handled the case with Chet, He’s being helped now and who was engineering it?” “I did, L.J.” “So you see; you have this ability to be creative, but you don’t believe in yourself do you?”
“Jay, you can be anything you would like to be. I am wondering why you do not go for the opportunities you are presented for?”
“If you go for it , you will make it; you just have TO DO IT! Remember?”
“Yes I do . Thank you. I have been lucky enough to meet this beautiful woman as you call her and she’s a comfort to me. I have good friends, both here and other places around the world, but I leave them and run away anyway.”
“I don’t have time for this, Jay. You have been through this so many times and YOU HAVE THE ANSWERS; ONLY YOU!!” Go ahead and treat yourself, please; for your own sake.”
Jay crawls up in the chair again; very exhausted and he hasn’t got the power to to go inside and lie down,which was his intention.
He sits in his chair trying to regain power by breathing deeply in to his stomach…
Finally he is able to go inside. He goes straight for the bedroom where he lies down on the bed with a long, deep sigh…
He falls asleep almost immediately.
Jay senses that this is the real start of L.J.’s tutoring and he fears that worse is to come, much worse…
croenning@rocketmail.com
15
Gortex drives to Chania Airport
Something is bothering Jay in his sleep; just in front his eyes he can see two hands outstretched with 10 fingers pointing upwards and someone is mumbling something about Chania Airport; in 10 minutes, Chania Airport in ten minutes!”
Finally Jay remembers; they’re going to pick up Asa at the airport! He opens his eyes and sees Gortex right in front of him. Gortex continues with his litany:“We have only ten minutes left; get up!”
Jay jumps out of the bed ans slips into his shoes. Gortex grabs him by the hand and pulls him through the house ans into the garden and then through the gate, where the car is parked; with the engine humming…
Gortex opens the door for him and jumps in himself.
“You are a lucky man, Jay; I am the only person in this town who can drive you to the airport in ten minutes; in this car of course”, he says. “OK,
let’s go!”
Off he goes; the first fifty meters is just a spinning of wheels until they reach 80 km/p/h. Jay puts on the safety belt and tightens it.
“Actually my record is is 12 minutes, but I have only 10 fingers to show, you know.”
Jay smiled a little. Still feeling dizzy after the meeting with L.J. And his nap…
No record for Gortex this time; 15 minutes later they’re at the airport, due to the rush hours. He says:”it’s ok, Jay.
They are still disembarking and that will take at least 10 more minutes. No problem.”
They park and go inside to way to wait for the passengers to arrive in the meeting hall. Gortex hurries ahead of Jay. When he reaches the railings outside the gates he stops and pulls up a piece of paper that says:”ASA CEDAR.”
Jay comes up along him a notices the paper that Gortex is holding up to his chest. Jay reaches for it and crumbles it. “She wants to be left in peace when she stays here. She is here to relax from all publicity she gets wherever she goes; OK?” Gortex looks a little ashamed and looks down to the floor. “I see, it was just stupid of me, but I couldn’t resist it.”
“So,you are a fan?” “Not exactly, but she is a big star and I have never met any of them in real life, not to mention that I am going to driver her in my car!” He grinned broadly now…
Then the gates opened and passengers started streaming out into the hall. Brits arriving from London. “Asa is small”, Jay said, “but you can track her by her colours and extravagant clothing”…
“Yes, I know”, Gortex replied. Then he spotted some fancy colours in between the shorts and sandals-clothed main crowd. “There she is, there she is!” Jay had to laugh at him; he was acting like a teenager boy!
So, finally she came all the way out and saw Jay at the banister and came up and greeted him him with kisses on both cheeks. Gortex was just standing as frozen beside Jay. Jay pointed at him and said:” this is Gortex, our driver.” Asa looked up at him and said to Jay: He is a very sweet
young man!” Then she flashed a smile at Gortex who immediately turned red. He took Asa’s luggage and piled it up on a trolley. She smiled at him again and he turned red as the inside of a melon.
They came outside where Asa stopped for a while and sniffed the air… “Ah, so much better than London”, she said and smiled. “let’s go! Where is your car, sweet boy?” Gortex kept his red colour almost permanently now.
He stuttered: “It’s the beautiful one over there”, he said and pointed to his grey Skoda . “Aah”, Asa exclaimed, “I know this car well! I used to drive one like that when I stayed on my own island. Can I drive it?” This was something no one could ask of Gortex. He was turning into tomato red, then dark ruby red when he said:”I am sorry; I am the only one who knows how to drive this car. You see I have rebuilt the whole engine.” She looked at him: “Can I have a look?” Gortex was smiling when he said:”are you serious?” “Yes”, she said, “absolutely!”
Jay hadn’t known Gortex that long, but he imagined that the grin he produced now was the widest any Polish man had ever smiled! Jay was smiling too; he found this peculiar and charming. He watched them standing over the engine, with Gortex pointing and waving his arms. They were speaking German now. Jay knew it and could follow their conversation quite easily…
He hated to disrupt them, but they really needed to leave now. He told them and they turned to him as if he was a headmaster or something like that…
“I am sorry”, he said,”but we just have to.”
Gortex and Asa looked at each other and smiled. “Maybe we can meet again before I leave?” Asa said. “Certainly! That’s a great idea!”
Gortex said as he opened the back door for her. She looked at him and said: “I want to sit up front with you, is that ok?” Gortex still wore his broad grin and said: Sure!”
So, the little lady climbed in and managed to pull up her garments and put them inside, neatly arranged.
Gortex jumped in and Jay was happy to have the back seat by himself.
“Ready?” Gortex said and looked at Asa. “Yes”, she said, “give her all you got my friend!”
So he blasted off. Gortex was given free hands and feet and that wasn’t too often when he had passengers in the car!
This time they made it in 12 minutes to Jay’s house!
They were later going to bring her to the hotel in Topanas where she usually stayed. A nice and expensive hotel in a quiet and picturesque area… She always stayed in the same hotel when she visited Jay…
Gortex immediately volunteered to pick her up in his car and was happy when Asa said thank you. He left for the cafeneion with her luggage in the car.
Jay and Asa went inside and he offered her something to drink. “What have you got, my friend?” Asa asked. “I have some chilled Champagne in the fridge, if that’s all right with you?” “Oh, yes, Champagne after this trip is a good choice”, Asa said…
He opened the bottle and poured the Champagne in two glasses. Jay lifted his glass and said:” cheers and welcome to Crete, Asa!” She smiled and raised her glass. They sat down by the kitchen table and had a chat about the last year, when Asa had held concerts all over the western world. “I have taken it easy this time”, she said, “I am not exactly getting younger and I have money enough to live a couple of lives still, you know.” “But you need to have something to do like all of us, or not?”
“Yes, something, but now more as a manager ad maybe in my homeland”, she said and the she laughed. “It’s a very small island you know and there’s not much to do there.”
She rose up and looked at Jay;” and you Jay, how are you doing?”
“Ah, I am OK, but I am getting tired of staying here; it’s been four years and there’s not much happening. Only when the tourist its highest peak there’s some fun around. In the winter time we ar all just vegetating…
crnning@gmail.com
16
If you’re feeling weary
or you’ve been alone too long
or maybe you’ve been suffering from
a few too many
plans that have gone wrong
and you’re trying to remember
how fine your life used to be
running around banging your drum
like it’s nineteen seventy three
well, that was the river
this is the sea
The Waterboys:”This is the Sea”
Asa Cedar
“Asa is a little lady full of temperament after she became a great pop star.
She wants to be in control of what’s going on around her. She wants to dictate the agenda. Maybe she has been pushed around too much by publishers and managers. On the cold island where she comes from, women have been emancipated for 1000 years…” Jay was talking to Pearly the same afternoon.
Gortex had come to pick Asa up just after Pearly had arrived from the exhibition. Yes you have noted so in your journal”, Pearly replied. “Yes I am telling you because she can be really nasty sometimes, when something goes against her will. She is not in the same category as Chet, but more infamous. So there might be some noise around here this week.”
“OK, so my darling, how have you been with L.J. lately? Hear anything from him again? I like the little guy; maybe because he once was you? Do you have a picture of him from that time?” Pearly smiled when she was talking about L.J. Jay looked at her and said; “well, you should have heard him today! He really wiped the floor with me” ”What? Why? Didn’t you treat him well?” ”Well, maybe I didn’t. He was very cross with me and gave me a lesson about my reality and how I handle it nowadays… I tell you; it’s going to be worse. He wants me somewhere far out from the ordinary man I am!”
“But you are not an ordinary man. I find you very extraordinary in your ways; you’re an artist, you paint, you make extraordinary drawings and you play the guitar and sing.
You live thousand miles from your homeland, you have been staying and working in war zones for years, you have travelled the whole world, you speak many languages, you’re a life coach and a good one with the capacity of intuition you have.
She looks at him and goes on saying:”and – you are a cute man!” She laughs a bit when saying that.
Jay laughs with her; “I know this my love, but this time and process is what I do in my life. I cannot be ordinary and mediocre. L.J. is pointing this out and and he wants me to follow up on this issue. ”Expand”, he tells me, “be what you truly are and can be; and he will push me there; all the way and by all means.”
“Jay”, Pearly, says, “I will be with you all the time. I am aware of your abilities. I have witnessed them for many years.
You are holding them back and I don’t know why. Sometimes I have wanted to push you too.”The door bell rang, but before any of then could rise up Asa came sailing in like a windjammer with colourful sails.
“Good evening you beautiful people!” she announced and came dancing towards them… ”Are you ready to take me out for dinner?” Then she walked over to Pearly and looked her straight in the eyes saying:” Mmm, what a lovely partner you have found, Jay.” Then she kissed Pearly on both cheeks and on her mouth. Pearly, as calm as ever says to her: “Thank you and it’s nice to meet you too.”
Jay notices the flash in Asa’s black eyes; she feels inferior.
Pearly turns to Asa and says:”I’ll be delighted to go out with you. Earl and Maria will probably come too. We have planned to go to TamAm tonight. They make good food there and the service is excellent. Does that sound all right for you?”
Asa is satisfied with Pearly’s little speech and smiles at her and walk up to her again to giver a hug. “Yesss”, she says, “let’s go, shall we?”
So they all leave. Outside the gate there’s a taxi. ”I came with my favourite Greek driver to pick you up; not my sweet Polish one, but I’ll meet him tomorrow.” They all enter the taxi and off they go – for TamAm
Asa creates havoc
They stop at the end of Halidon and walk into the Topanas area or the old town as it’s also called. It’s been renovated and there’s many cafe’ s and restaurants there among small souvenir shops and artists exhibitions and workshops…
Their destination is TamAm which is serving mainly Cretan
dishes, but also western food now in the tourist season. The service is very good and the place has a pleasant atmosphere. The older part of it is in the former basement with galleries along the walls.
Now Pearly, Asa and Jay is climbing down to the steep stairs and are shown to their booked table…
Asa is delighted by the ancient heavy stonework inside and she’s looking forward to spend the night with her friends in this genuine Cretan atmosphere…
and order their dishes
They sit down and order their dishes. Jay and Pearly know that the food will be prepared in the best manner and they’re willing to wait for that reason. Asa has a totally different attitude to this; she wants her food immediately! She sulks like a teenager. Jay has to tell her that this is the style here; the longer they wait, the better the meal.
Asa is not willing to share this opinion; she waves at the waiter who is very busy serving at the nearest table. He hasn’t got time for her, obviously. Then she rises up and screams: “I want to be served now!!” Jay pulls her sleeve and tells her to calm down; she will have her meal, but she has to wait like all the other guests. She sits down, but she is not satisfied. Jay fears that she will start again very soon, if the food doesn’t arrive in two minutes. He looks at Pearly who stays calm, but she is alarmed by Asa’s infantile behaviour. she whispers in Jay’s ear: “I remember everything you have written about her and you’re right!” She smiles at him and kisses his cheek.
So, finally; after five more agonizing minutes all the meals are placed before them with an excuse for the delay; so many guests to serve this evening. Asa looks up at him and screams again:”I am not used to wait for half an hour for a meal, my good waiter!” Then she sits down and looks at her chicken souvlaki and frowns. ”So this is the delicious food they serve here, Jay! How can you call this delicious, it doesn’t even look nice on the plate!”
she starts eating like a child who i not happy with what she is served. she pushes the vegetables aside. She barely touches the food at all except for a couple of nuggets of chicken.
She gets some wine and do not behave like a child anymore, but like an alcoholic she gulps down glass after glass of it and when the bottle is empty she orders champagne. The waiters are in miss of what to do with her… She has been recognized by some of the guests and the waiters are anxious to please her. she has her champagne in a cooler just by her seat and she is drinking straight from the bottle and in a few minutes it’s all emptied. The guests around her are applauding. Something happens to her. She rises up and looks around at her audience as if she has just made a stage performance. She smiles and laughs and leaves her table. she takes a stroll around and talks with people and writes autographs. She sits down by some of the tables where there are young Greek men sitting. Soon she is into heavy kissing and groping with a couple of them.
Now the butler has been alarmed and he comes for her. He is a big Cretan with a huge black beard and dressed in black with a black knitted cap on his head; a traditional costume for Cretan men. He grabs her by her elbow and pulls her away from the young men who’s had a glorious moment to tell their friends about… The butler lifts her up; puts her underneath his arm and climbs up the stairs to the alley outside. He dumps her her there and stays by the door to prevent her from entering inside again. She starts hitting him in the stomach and swears with each punch. ”Malakka!!” the butler screams an grabs her elbow again and drags her down the alley and leaves her far away from the restaurant.
Pearly looks at Jay and says:” what to do now?”
Jay, who has watched Asa’s escapades all the time, like everyone else in the TamAm this evening, replies:” right now there is nothing I can do. she is a grown up woman and has to take responsibility for her own actions. Hopefully she will call
or show up tomorrow and then we will have a session together and we’ll see how that ends.”
Pearly looks at him again, takes his hand in hers and says:”but shouldn’t you…?” ”No, my dear. I shouldn’t. I have been with her many times about her unacceptable behaviour. This is a big problem for her. she is spoiled and that is actually her worst grief nowadays. Now she has to come back to another kind of reality. She will show up in a couple of days.”
croenning@rocketmail.com
17
Now you say you got trouble
you say you got pain
you say you got nothing left to believe in
Nothing to hold on to
Nothing to trust
Nothing but chains
You been scouring your conscience
And raking through your memories
You been scouring your conscience
and raking through your memories
But that was the river
This is the sea
The Waterboys: “This is the Sea”
Pearly and Jay is back in the house again…
It’s early morning. Pearly is out in the garden; sprinkling trees and flowers and sweeping the concrete floor for leaves and insects and today’s downfall of mashed plums.
She calls in at Jay:”are you coming out here soon; I need my
morning tea, you know, as the incurable Brit I am!”
Jay’s voice inside; “be there in a sec, hon!”
He’s coming through the hall with a tray with two cups of tea and a couple of biscuits…
As he steps down into the garden he says: “I’m so happy that you’re not keeping up with the horrible full English breakfast, my dear!”
“Oh, you know, I might have it one of these days.” “I hope I am not invited?” ”I am happy if you stick with your green tea and cereals, my love. I am not going to feed you more than you would like yourself.”
“I am so glad I have you with me, Pearl; sincerely, I am a lucky man to have such a perfect and brilliant and good looking and sensible partner! I mean every word I say, Pearl.”
She sits down by the table and blows her hot tea. ”Thank you, Jay. It’s nice of you to tell me. You are a very considerate man and I must say I feel peaceful and satisfied with what we have achieved so far, my love. Still I am worried about you. I am expecting some kind of disaster every day;
with all these strange things happening to you. I feel a little helpless as it seems that everything goes so deep and; what can I say; so devastatingly? Yes I think that’ll be the right word
for the feelings I carry with me all the time.”
“You know, Pearl, I am quite sure that the of this story will be pretty good! I do not doubt that a second!”
she looks at him with the shadow of a smile on her face. ”Thank you for being so reassuring.”
“What are your plans today, Pearl?” ”I am going to Lilli’s atelier; she was putting some amazing paintings last night and I want to see the whole and complete exhibition before the gallery fills up with people. Would you like to come with me?”
He looks up at her; he’s being admiring her pretty face and posture with the blond hair hanging down along her ears, neatly arranged he suspects and he loves the whole composition… ”Eeeeh, yes! I would like that.” Pearly smiles as if she knows what has been going on with him…
“When are we leaving?” Pearly looks at her watch; “in 20 minutes, would that be all right for you?” ”Whatever you say,
my love it’s all right with me…”
She smiles again and takes his hand and holds it in both of hers. She doesn’t say anything and Jay loves her silence too.
she rises up from her chair and holds his head and then bends down to kiss both his cheeks…
After a while she says: “I am a happy woman, Jay”, and she looks him deep into his eyes with a probing glance in her eyes.
He takes her hands in his and kisses her palms lightly… ”Thank you Pearl. If i go on like this I might explode in pure joy and bliss, my love.”
She turns and goes inside to put on her shoes. He picks up the tray and carries it inside and leaves it on the table in the hall
Then he puts on his sandals and returns outside to take the bicycles out and rolls them to the gate.
Pearly comes out with his mobile phone in her hand. ”You better take this one with you; I have this thought in the back of my head that you are going to need it today.”
“Yes, you might be right, darling”, he says and puts it in his pocket.
They jump their bikes and roll out into the alley “Low road or high road?” Jay asks. “Low road along the sea, my love”, she replies. Jay says: “How did you know?” ”Because we both know, darling”, she says; and off they go…
They pass the place where they had their first love encounter and both laugh out load. ”I remember this place very well; it’s become a magic for us, my love!” Pearly syas as she moves alongside Jay and he holds out his hand to her and for 20 meters they ride along like this.
Just as they share these golden moments , Jay hg theits a big hole in the road and keels over. He falls and hits the road on his flat back. all air is kicked out of him. He is lying on the road, unconscious; not breathing and very pale. Pearly screams as she lets go of her bike and runs over to him and kneels down
by his side and starts pumping his chest up and down whilst she in between gives him mouth to mouth treatment…
It takes some time, but she notices that the colour is returning to his face. She keeps on pumping his chest though and finally he comes through with a gasp.
She pulls him up in a sitting position and drags him closer to the sidewalk… He crawls across the sidewalk and lies down on the lawn, not far from the pine trees they parked their bikes under just a week ago.
Pearly picks up the bikes and pulls them up by the railing along the lawn and sits down beside him. He is lying on his side and looks up at her: her “L.J. was talking to me just before I fell; he repeatedly told me to focus!” ”I didn’t and well: you saw it all.” ”Pearly”, he said, “can you call a cab please? I am quite groggy and I don’t think I can make it in the gallery with all the people being propped in there.” ”Of course, darling. Do you want me to come with you?” ”I don’t know actually, because I am not quite sure how my condition is right now and I must say that I feel safer with you around me. Maybe I need a doctor too, it hurts like hell in my back.” ”Ok, my dear; I’ll call a cab and a doctor friend of mine and of course I will stay with you.” She sat down on a nearby bench and started calling: first to the gallery to tell Lilli about the accident. Then she called a cab and then the doctor who fortunately was available…
Jay had dozed off and Pearly checked his pulse, which seemed to be a little too fast. He was hot too, so she was anxious to see the cab arriving. She called the central again; they just told her that they had no cars available right now, but if she wanted an ambulance they could provide her with the emergency number. Pearly got the number and called immediately.
Jay seemed to drift in and out of conscience. She tried to probe carefully along his spine. When she reached the lower back he screamed and she swiftly pulled her hand back…
After 10 minutes of worrying and waiting, the ambulance finally arrived. They lifted Jay on to a stretcher and put him inside.
One of the nurses checked his back and to Pearly’s relief she reported that the damage was only muscular…
the driver put the bikes on the roof of the ambulance and then they were ready to take them home.
When they reached the house Jay was carried inside and put to bed. then they put the bikes in the Shed. Pearly was grateful for their assistance and thanked them.
She went inside and closed the door behind her. She stopped and sighed deeply. ”What will happen to him next?” she was thinking when she entered the bedroom…
Jay lies in bed, neatly tucked in. ”I can see there’s been professionals here”, she said. ”Yes, finally”, Jay says, and smiles. ”They left some pain killers here somewhere”, he added. ”They’re here on your night table, dear.” ”Can I have a handful?”
“Well I gues one will do you good. I’ll fetch a glass of water.”
She comes back with the water. He helps himself to the pill;
swallows it and sinks down on the pillow…
“I haven’t had as much beating this last week than I have had over a period of 20 years!”
Pearly’s phone rings. She takes it and says that they are at home now.
The doctor, Jay assumes and he is proved right at once as Pearly says:”your doctor is coming in 5 minutes, my love.” She smiles at him, relieved now…
She was right; the doctor arrived exactly 5 minutes later; seldom for a Greek…
He checks entire body; palpating him. He measures the temperature and his pulse.
Can’t find anything damaging wrong with you, my friend”, he says, “you need to take it easy 2-3 days and you’ll be all right. Watch out for the holes in the roads here in Chania, there are plenty of them. sometimes I think they are attacking us, especially when you are on a bicycle!
I have to run along to another patient, but call me if you need to”, he says, kisses Pearly on her cheeks and leaves…
Jay now faces a long time in bed, but he knows he will be up and going in 2-3 days. He cannot stay long in bed due to his disease. His muscles will be stiff as logs and the pain unbearable…
18
Now I can see you wavering
As you try to decide
You got a war in your head
And it’s tearing you up inside
You’re trying to make sense
Of something that you just don’t see
And you KNOW that you once held the key
But that was the river
This is the sea…
The Waterboys: “This is the Sea”
As Jay had thought after 3 days in and out of bed he decided
that it was enough.
He ventured out into the garden and sat down on the door steps enjoying the morning sun. His body was still aching, but he felt good anyway; being able to sit here in the rays of the giving sun…
He hears a familiar voice in his head: “yes, isn’t it a bliss, Jay?”
“Yes, it always is. do you remember that we were called the Sun when we were young?
“We still are, aren’t we?”
“Well, you know my angel that I worry a lot. You don’t want me to and I don’t want to, but it’s part of my heritage from my mother.”
“What is there to worry about here and now? In this pleasant and quiet summer morning with the sun charging you up for a new day.”
Nothing I should worry about in this very moment, L.J., but I am often thinking about this world and where we humans will end up the way we are treating our planet and all that live on it.”
“In a way it’s comforting to hear you say that, because it involves responsibility for your environment. do you think it will be benefit from your worrying?”
Jay smiles at these words from L.J. ”I know that is not beneficial; for anything, but I so wish that we humans could turn our unique skills to something better. We are capable of so much, but we seem to squander it all and for what? Mostly greed for money and more wealth and positions. It’s humiliating for humanity.”
“Maybe so, Jay, but what can you do about it?”
“Ah, that’s the three million Euro question! What and how can I do something about it? Right now I really do not know, but I can think of some answers: I could start acting as a “good” person; bringing people what they think they need, but that would not help in the long run. Being “good” is just a name for pleasing and I think we need something else in this world.”
“What would that be?”
” I need to see this in the name of necessity. Me and people of this world need to agree to an agenda where we point to what we have to do to turn our eyes and minds to get this world back on another and more caring track for us all and I mean ALL!”
“Good, Jay! Go ahead and do it!”
The he was gone. For the first time Jay could feel that L.J.
left; an empty hole in the middle of his chest told him so, but something else was going on inside him this moment; he could feel an intense pain of loss. Not from L.J. leaving, but something was about to happen that would cause them all a lot of grief…
croenning@rocketmail.com
19
Now I hear there’s a train
It’s coming down the line
It’s yours if you hurry
You got still enough time
And you don’t need no ticket
And you don’t pay no fee
And you don’t need no ticket
And you don’t pay no fee
That was the river
This is the sea…
The Waterboys:”This is the Sea”
Jay is getting better day by day and he has been on his bike again for a trip in the neighbourhood, feeling pleased with himself her arrives back at his gate and nearly crashes his bike against the swinging gate.
He manages to avoid yet another accident with an inch. He puts his bike in the shed and sits down by the table under the plum tree. The tree carries no fruit anymore and Jay starts to sweep the floor for all the mashed plums. He uses a spade and throws it all in a big garbage container just outside the gate. Then he starts sprinkling the plants
and trees. He likes this kind of work, but he is a little distracted by his accident 3 days ago and just now he was about to crash with the
gate. He goes down to the gate and has a look at it. It looks perfectly normal. He cannot understand why it started swinging when he was coming in today. There was no wind and in any case; the heavy iron gate wouldn’t be moved by any wind anyway…
He goes back to the table and sits down; staring at the gate. It’s not moving at all and he has never seen it do that the 2 years he has been living in the house.
He was thinking of this issue: ”could it be that he attracted all these accidents himself or was this just a case of ill fortune?”
He suddenly remembered the voice of L.J. the other day when he told him to focus and he had run into the hole in the tarmac. L.J. was
was warning him, but could it be that he was telling him something else too? He was showing him that he was careless; not focused on what he was doing…
“If so, what is on my mind then?”
He sat down by the table again and pondered his own question for a while…
He went inside to make a cup of tea and realized that he had run away from his own question. ”Focus, that’s what I am not doing these days. When did I start losing it? I always managed to keep my
focus during my many years of meditation and why have I stopped meditating?”
He’d been having these question up many times, but avoided to go deep enough to understand it. ”I am just suppressing it I guess, but there’s always a reason for that and what would that be?”
“Jay, you have always been running around to try to find I guess, but there’s always a reason for doing that and what can that be?”
” Jay, you have always been running around trying to find something you have been missing. I know, you know.”
L.J. is back…
“Yes, I know you know”, says Jay, “but I have grown tired of all the semi holy people talking about enlightenment and groups and
new therapies and new groups and new gurus coming to town and new lectures and new books that can heal and you reach THE state of bliss. New techniques and new ways of massage and you name it! I wondered when they were going to put all this knowledge; that is if they’d got it or were just playing along with today’s new this and new that, into practice and when they were going to take some some of their knowledge and start working on themselves and live out what they had learned”…
“I started to realize that many of mu so called friends weren’t my friends at all. There was always someone telling someone that I didn’t meditate anymore, for instance. I wasn’t worthy a place in their congregation because I always did it my way and not in the way that their resent Guru had come up with…”
“Actually I started feeling sorry for them, they were acting like lost
children running around to find the newest of the newest in this crazy holiness and the newest of the newest kind of healthy food.”
“Are you condemning them for trying to find their ways in life, as you are doing? Is that what you are saying? Or are you dissatisfied with yourself and your development?”
“I am not condemning them, L.J. I just got confused and then fed up. It all started to look like a huge shopping trip. I remember some words from a newly self appointed leader of some sort saying: ‘He who dies with the most toys wins’ and that made me laugh out load, because it seems like we humans think that we can shop us out of anything…
I believe I came to a certain point in life where I had to ‘kill my Buddha’ or ‘Jesus’ or any Guru and start my own journey. I started feeling claustrophobic in their company.”
“Well, now we are getting at it, Jay! As I started to say today about you roaming around the world all your life, always by yourself, searching for something. Now is the time to tell me why.”
Jay was taken out by these words from L.J. and tears were running down his cheeks as he said: “I have been searching for a place or for people that I could feel safe with all my life. That’s why I left home before I was sixteen. All my life; and you know all about this; I have come to realize that there are precious few humans I can really rely on and here comes the big quandary.When I say this I know that I have met some of the good ones and lived with
them, but still I have left them too. That’s when I have come to another level; I was alone in this life an I had to be in charge of it! You know all about this”…
“I have found a few friends now that I can rely on unconditionally
and I am going to stick with them the rest of my life. They are not
meditating or reading about all kinds of holinesses. They are just themselves and not pretending to be something else; purely their own personalities. They do not have to check this out every second of the day because they feel safe with themselves.
I believe that I have come to that stage myself and I am implementing all I have learned from my twenty years of meditation and self developing work. I finally believe in myself and I had to get out of all the tutoring and the ‘correct’ ways that others demanded me to follow. I am perfectly all right as I am as a
creature of Cosmos, because I or anyone else cannot be otherwise, that’s impossible! As you and I learned long ago: we are never alone and we are always loved as what we are!”
“Thank you, Jay! Very satisfying, but I will still be here with you for a while, because I want to show you something more”…
It has to do with your friends that you have found here and I think you know what I am talking about.”
Jay sits in total silence for a long time; pondering what this next step is about, but he knows too well…
croenning@rocketmail.com
20
Oh, where have you been my blue eyed son?
Where have you been my darling young one?
I’ve stumbled on the sides of twelve misty mountains
I’ve walked and I’ve crawled on six crooked highways
I’ve stepped in the middle of seven sad forests
I’ve been out in front of a dozen dead oceans
I’ve been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard
Ref.: And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard and it’s a hard rain’s a gonna fall…
Jay is on his bike again to visit Earl and Maria. they live in an old block in the Nea Hora area. Maria had called earlier and asked him if he could come and visit.
Jay knew what was happening with Earl. No one had told him anything; he just knew…
He was going up the Petrof; the street leading to the main western road through the city.
He turned left into the shabby road in between the main and Petrof
road. He stopped in front of the 4 stories tall building. It was a weather and fungi beaten old block. Earl never cared too much about the standard of the house. He was satisfied as long as there was a bedroom he could sleep in and a kitchen he could eat in…
Jay parked his bike in the garage. He rang the bell by the main entrance and waited…
Maria answered on the intercom and opened the door to let him in. He went up the stairs to the third floor. The door was opened ajar.
He entered and said: “hello.” Maria came out in the hall looking sad and exhausted. she wore a green all covering apron with short sleeves; it wasn’t too clean Jay noticed as he gave her a hug and kissed her cheeks.
She smiled faintly and said: “I am so glad you could make it, Jay!” Tears in her eyes. ”Yes I know, Maria”, replied. She told him to go into the bedroom where Earl was waiting for him.
He knocked lightly on the door and could hear Earl’s: “come on in, Jay.” He opened the door and went in. Just underneath the window where curtains were opened to let the sunshine in. Earl was lying on his back with his head supported by a couple of big pillows; his bushy beard sticking up from the blanket.
“Hello my friend.” Earl says, barely audible…
He was skinny and when he put his arms up on the blanket, the skin is hanging in bags from his arms.
Jay puts his hand on one of them and squeezes it. ”Not much left of your friend now, Jay”, Earl says, “when did you know?”
“I have known a long time, Earl.”
“How, who told you?” “L.J. said something some time ago that made me realize…”
“You still talk with him?”
“Yes, almost every day now. We have a great lesson to learn; that is, I have a lot to learn.”
“You know, Jay, I’ve wanted to tell you, but I am not good at this; always independent and stubborn.”
“Would you like me to come around and be with you now and then?”
Yes, that what I wanted to ask you. I have a lot to talk about too,
with you and possibly the little one.”
“I will have to put it to him then, ok? Actually he is here now. He
knows how much you mean to me.” Tears were flowing from Earl’s eyes and he dried them off on the bed sheets.
“Just let it come, Earl; are cleansing ans supporting. You don’t need to hold anything back anymore my friend.”
“How is Maria doing in all this happening to you?” Now tears are pouring out of Earl as all the tears he had held back his whole life suddenly were released in a waterfall. Now he just let then flow freely. He didn’t try to dry them up this time…
After some time he stuttered through his still flowing streams of tears: “she is devastated, Jay and she is angry with me for not telling her!”
“Can you understand that, Earl?” ”Yes I really can, but I have had to prove that I was the strong one who could handle everything, you know.”
“And you did, Earl. You have given Maria a good life and the best of companionships! You are a fine and noble man, my friend!
Maria came in and said to them both; “yes he is! You are, my love. You have given me the best years of my life.” she sat down by him and stroked his bushy hair and beard; “my fine, honest and righteous man.”
Tears flowing all the way down earl’s cheeks and then he started to
laugh: “I have always felt happy to have you with me, Maria and you too Jay. His head fell down on his chest and he whispered: ” I need to rest now…”
Jay put his hand on his head and said: “be sure to call me in whenever you need to, Earl. don’t forget and that goes for you too, Maria.”
He went into the kitchen and sat down to wait for Maria. she came soon after him and joined him by the table. ”You want something to drink? I have some wine or Tsekoudia if you want?”
she asked him.
“If you could make a cup of tea I would like that”, Jay replied.
“As you wish, Jay.” She made the tea and put it on the table with some sweet pastry…
“Maria”, Jay said, “can you tell me how long this has been going on with Earl?”
“For a long time, but it’s gotten worse and worse the last two months.”
“Excuse me, I think I am guessing right, but can you confirm what kind of disease this is?” ”Cancer; spreading to all inner organs and the doctor told us that he cannot last more 2 weeks, from today. He was here this morning.” ”Ok, it is as I guessed then”, Jay said.
Maria was crying. she dried the tears off her face and took Jay’s hand in hers. ”I am really glad that we have you with us Jay. You seem to know a lot about these kind of things and death too, I believe… Earl loves you very much you know.”
He let her hold his hand. He said:” Maria, remember to ask me anything you want, whenever you want. I will be here for you and so will Pearly, I know, although I haven’t told her yet, but she knows something is burdening me these days.”
“You know that I am not a man of the church, Maria, but I have some believes that can match any religion. I am saying this just to ensure you that I can be talked with. Are you a member of the Orthodox Church?”
“No, I left it when I was very young.”
“Then just let me know when you need help ans support, please.”
“Thank you so much, Jay, I really appreciate your help.”
With these words she loosens her grip on his hand and says:”I have go and stay with him now, if you will excuse?”
“Of course, Maria. We’ll see each other soon.”
He kissed her on both cheeks and left…
Coming down in the garage he decided to pop into the Cafeneion, which wasn’t too far from here.
He unlocked his bike and went out into the street. Hy cycled against the traffic, but that was no problem in Chania, where cyclists were regarded as pedestrians on wheels. Not respected until the cyclist showed them that he could be as pushy as the drivers in cars and on motrbikes…
Jay had learned this and showed no weakness when he was riding in the stampede of cars. The Cretans understand and value it when
when a man is showing a decisive attitude…
He reached the platia in front of the Cafeneion and was happy to see both Gortex and Basia in full work around and inside. They had just placed a bamboo fence around the outside tables and decorated the area with flowerpots hanging from the roof. From inside he could smell a delicious aroma of food and he just had to go inside and have a closer look. He found Basia in the kitchen and asked her what she was cooking today. She told him she was trying out different hybrid Polish/Cretan dishes. She asked him if he wanted to have a taste. He couldn’t say no to such an offer and she placed the just finished dish in front of him…
Basia was a beautiful Polish woman and the girlfriend of Gortex. They were both enthusiastic about their future plans for the Cafeneion and further on with their plans for establishing a tour operator service; mostly in cooperation with Polish travel Agencies.
The Cafe would only be a stepping stone for their future plans…
Jay sat down outside. Gortex came driving back from the alley and parked in front of the Cafe.
He jumped out of the car and said: “Hi Jay!” He went to open the boot and pulled out a large amount of shopping bags. ”Do you want some help with those?” Jay said. ”Not too much, but you can take some of the bags and carry them inside.”
Jay got up from his chair and walked over to the car. The whole backseat and boot was full of plastic bags, mostly from the Lidle shopping center.
Jay carried 5-6 bags inside and Gortex tells him to just take it easy… “No problem, I need to exercise, you see. So I always take opportunities like this as gifts.”
All placed inside; Gortex comes out to join him.
He looks inside the cafe before he asks Jay:” what on earth happened to Asa the other night? I was taking her to the hotel and she was happy with that, but the day after she called me and asked me if I could take her out to the airport. I said yes, but I thought she was going to stay for a week? I picked her up and we went over there, but she didn’t say a word; just thank you, when I helped her into the airport…
she looked very sad!”
“I can imagine that, but she didn’t have a good time the night we went out to have a meal and listen to Cretan music at the TamAm. She actually ruined the whole party, poor woman.”
Gortex just looked at him. ”Please don’t tell Basia about this, she got jealous when I told her about the meeting with her.”
Jay, couldn’t but smile, but promised not to bring it further.
“Do you want a beer, Jay? I am going to have one.”
“No thanks. I’d better be on my way home. I have to prepare for a group I am going to have this weekend. 6 people will arrive in two days from Canada and we are going to paint and dance and talk a lot. ”Can I come too?” Gortex asked. ”You can come if you want to, but we are going to go deep into psychological issues and there will be tears and snot and screaming…” Gortex smiles and shakes his head saying:”OK, I get it. I have a lot to do, so I will stick to that instead.” He smiles again. ”Are you sure you won’t have a beer?” Jay shakes his head and goes inside to pay. Basia is behind the counter and she smiles when he enters. ”Did you like it?” ”Absolutely! Very delicious!” She smiled again and looked satisfied.
“You don’t have to pay”, she said, “it was just a test the new peoduct.”
Once more she smiled her lovely smile…
Jay felt happy too as he rode down the road to his house. He felt good and sad at the same time. Thinking of all the twists and turns life was giving him these days.
He arrived home without accidents and started to arrange the biggest bedroom for his weekend sessions with the Canadians. Pearly had already arranged with covering the floor in a double layer of strong plastic sheets. Later they would got together to pick up some mattresses from a storehouse in the harbour…
croenning@rocketmail.com
21
Oh what did you see my blue eyed son?
What did you see my darling young one?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it
I saw a black branch with blood that kept dripping
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a bleeding
I saw a white ladder all covered with water
I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children
Earl’s Departure
In the evening Jay got a call from Maria again. She asked him if he come as soon as possible. they just had dinner in the kitchen
but he knew he had to go now; this was a serious call for help.
“Can I take Pearly with me, Maria?” ”Yes, please do”, she said.
Then he knew for sure. Not too much time left for his friend…
He told Pearly and asked if she wanted to come. ”Of course! He is my best friend.”
They were quick to get to their bikes out as Jay told her that it was very serious this time.
It didn’t take them much time to reach the block. Pearly rang the bell and the door opened immediately.
They jumped up the stairs until they reached the second floor when Jay stopped and said: “Let’s catch our breath first.” They waited a minute and walked the last steps.
The door was open and they went inside and said hello when Maria came out from the kitchen.
Jay noticed that she was very worn down since he saw her just some hours ago…
They all kissed cheeks. ”Let me just talk with you first; in the kitchen”, Maria said.
They all went in and sat down by the table. Maria served them a dram glass of Tsekoudia. ”I think this is good for you both”, she said. Jay doubted that it was and said so. ”I am better off without if this visit is what I thin it is Maria, sorry to say.” Mari nodded and sighed and poured up glasses of water instead.
“I am sorry. I am so upset that I thought it would do us all good, but you are right, we need to stay alert and aware.”
“The doctor came around after you left today and stated that the cancer was accelerating rapidly and that Earl didn’t have much time left and that we should all be with him tonight.
“I see”, said Jay, “we will stay here with you and Earl as long as it takes.”
Maria took their hands and squeezed them and said:” euvkaristo filli mho! Sorry, but I have to say thank you in Greek, it’s my language of passion. We can go in now. Earl knows that you’re here. He can hear all we say although he falls into a coma ever so often.”
“The ability to hear is the last sense that leaves us and that’s why we should be talking all the time with people who are very sick or dying”, Jay said
They went into the bedroom which was lit only by one small lamp
standing on a stool by the bed. Earl was lying as dead in his bed
as Jay had seen him earlier this day with his beard sticking up from underneath the blanket and his hair were spread out on his pillow. He opened his eyes when they came in and a grimace looking like a forged smile appeared on his face. ”Hello, my friends,” he whispered and his hands came up to reach for theirs. Pearly and Jay held one hand each and Earl squeezed as hard as he could to tell them that he was still there with them…
Maria had a faint smile on her face now; happy that her husband
was talking with his best friends. She felt safer having Jay and Pearly with her.
Earl just looked at them and held on to their hands as if he was afraid that they would leave him…
He had tears in his eyes, but still a smile was lingering on his lips. ”I have little time left you, but you will always be my friends wherever I go or what happens. I am not afraid anymore as I have been until this morning. I feel safe and know that this was supposed to happen quite soon and when I have Maria and you two here I am prepared for whatever will happen”…
He sank down on the pillow and closed his eyes. ”Just for a while”, he whispered, “need to rest.” They all sat in silence around him and watched as he breathed heavily, but he was still holding their hands…
Then he suddenly lifted his head and said:” please some pillows behind my neck and raise me up so I can sit up straight!” He said
this in a clear voice and as if he was in a hurry. Jay looked at him and had a smile on his mouth. He said: “You seem to know what you are doing, Earl?” Earl looked at him a while and said;” I seem to; that’s right. I just had this vision where I was told to sit up. What does that mean?” Jay smiled at him and took his hand again. ”It means you are an old Buddhist monk, Earl.” Jay smiled again and he helped him with more pillows to prevent him to falling to any side.
Jay was smiling broadly now; “so, let us do the job, Earl. You
know what is coming, don’t you?”
“Yes, I am ready my friends and my wife”, still in a clear voice.
He was sitting up straight and well supported with pillows. ”Earl,
my friend, can you focus on the light at the foot end of the bed?”
Earl looked down his legs and then raised his head a bit to see more clearly. ”Yes, I can see it!” he said in a loud voice. ”What can you see?”
“I can see something looking like an angel or maybe it’s just a shining light.” ”How does it feel?” Jay said. ”I feel very well right now. I have no pain anymore. I feel welcomed into this light and I feel only love streaming from it.”
“Earl, my good friend, can you go into the light? Is the time right for you?”
Earl was smiling and he said: ” yes! I am already there!” Jay could see light streaming out of Earl’s forehead and merging with the light at the bed’s end. His body sank backwards against the wall, still in a sitting position though – and he left his body…
Maria was lying across her husband’s legs, sobbing.
“Good bye and happy journey, my love”, she whispered…
Pearly and Jay were still hold their friend’s hands.
They sat like this for a while. Then Maria rose up and said:” let’s go into the living room.” Jay put his hand on Earl’s chest and could feel that his friend was not in there anymore. He looked up and said: “happy journey, Earl.”
Then they all joined together in a circle and held each other tightly.
They were standing like this for 20 minutes; feeling the room slowly being emptied for disease and pain…
Later, when they were sitting in the living room, Maria had served
Tsekoudia again and this time it was in its place. she said she had
prepared a lamb for them.
They stayed for many hours talking, crying, but most of all comforting each other in these blessed hours. Earl was with them again and they enjoyed the meal and the wine served with the tender lamb, but most of all they felt the warmth and love for each other getting stronger. More now than in Earl had still been with them.
Relief was what they were feeling; that Earl was well and had no pain or fear to struggle with anymore…
It was midnight when Pearly and Jack came back home and could go to bed. They were holding each other for hours…
Jay was still following Earl; talking to him and comforting him; just to be there with his friend
croenning@rocketmail.com
22
And what did you hear my blue eyed son?
What did you hear my darling young one?
I heard the sound of a thunder that roared out a warning
Heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world
Heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a blazing
Hear ten thousand whispering and nobody listening
Heard one person starve, I heard many people laughing
Heard a song of a poet who died in the gutter
Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley
Bob Dylan:”A hard rain’s a gonna fall”
It was Thursday night; Pearly and Jay had just finished covering the floor in the biggest bedroom with double layers of thick plastic
to avoid stains on the whit tiles…
The had placed six mattresses along the walls and the paint was
placed in the basement; ready for the weekend workshop and the Canadians to paint out their colours and emotions on the canvas bought the same afternoon in the minaret street as Jay called it, because he could never remember the name of the newly restored alley with art shops, galleries and frame makers…
The alley was lain with beige cobble stones and in the middle a dented gutter covered with grey, smooth tiles with drains every fifth meter…
Now they were sitting with a glass of chilled, white wine; relaxing after following Earl into his death departure. Both felt empty, but still satisfied that Earl had gone somewhere else and having no pains or sorrows for his health anymore.
They had finished all the preparations for the workshop and enjoyed the peace and quiet in their own house this late evening…
Pearly had been quiet a long time. Now she asked Jay where Earl was now? I really don’t know Pearl, my dear”,Jay said, “but I am sure he is all right and that there are someone around him, caring about him.”
“You’re thinking of L.J.”
“I am not sure about that. He’s bound up with me, you know and he is leaving me alone with the situation as it is now. He wants me to contemplate this experience in my own way. He trusts me to to cope with it now.”
“So he is monitoring all your activities continuously?”
“I believe so, yes.”
Pearly smiled a little; then she said: “That means that when we make love, he might be there?”
Jay laughed: “he doesn’t mind it. Actually he was congratulating me the first time we met in my bed and said you were such a beautiful woman and person!”
Pearly blushed and then giggled nervously;”can he hear us now, you think?”
“Yes, as I said and you presumed; he’s monitoring it all, wherever
I am and whatever I am doing.”
“Do you think he noticed me blushing too?”
“I really don’t know, Pearly, but he wouldn’t mind it.”
Pearly laughed; “it’s kind of spooky I think, but then again; he is you or some remote part of you, but as a boy of six he is not he is not interested in this kind of activity, I guess?”
I thin he is delighted with us. He really like the way our relationship has turned out; he thinks it’s good for my balance in my life. For his own sake he doesn’t mind much what we are doing; he is a spirit, you know, not a real person like me anymore
or maybe he is more real than us?”
“I see”, Pearly said, “I am all right anyway, but I have one more question: is he going to leave you when his mission is accomplished?”
“I think so, but when we have come that far I guess I will be able to communicate with him in other ways and on other levels”
“I am a little afraid, Jay. What will you be and where will you end? I don’t want to lose you now when we finally have come together in the way we have. I love every minute of it.”
“We will be with each other until we go to where Earl and our loved ones have gone.”
“What is it he wants from you then?”
“He wants me to live up to my full capacity; which means that I will enlightened – which is the term for that kind of state. It has been my goal all my life since my – and his revelation when we were six years old. He knows and want to me to fulfill this task that I have put myself to.”
“Then, what will happen?”
“I just have to wait and see, my love. I have read terrible stories
about people being enlightened and I hope that, if it happens; I will up with the more pleasant version of it.”
“I am afraid, but also excited about this, Jay and I will stay with you. Maybe some of this enlightening will touch my soul too.”
“That would be very elegant, dear! We will see, I hope, but now
I need to go to bed with you my love. I would like to make love with you, but we will have to be discrete”… He smiled at Pearly
who looked satisfied. She rose from her chair and leaned against the banister of the balcony looking at him…
“Come here, my love”, she said. He went up to her and put his arms around her waist and kissed her lips lightly. The moon was shining down on them; making this romantic ending of two laboursome days…
With their arms around each others’ shoulders, they went into the bedroom…
The last thing Pearly said before closing the door was: “I am really looking forward to this kind of enlightenment too!”
Jay laughed…
croenning@rocketmail.com
23
Oh who did you meet my blue eyed son?
Who did you meet my darling young one?
I met a young child beside a dead pony
I met a white man who walked a black dog
I met a woman whose body was burning
I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow
I met one man who was wounded in love
I met another man who was wounded with hatred
Bob Dylan:”A hard rain’s a gonna fall”
It’s early Friday morning; Pearly and Jay are waiting in the airport for their group of Canadians.
This time Pearly is carrying a piece of paper on her chest, saying: JAY STORM and this time Jay is all right with it.
Then there’s a scream when the gates open: “There it is, you see!
It says Jay Storm and that’s our man; come on!”
And here they come; leaning over the railings for hugs. Jay is ok with this, but he feels that these North American huggers are emptying his lungs with their bear hugs…
the group is a mixed crowd of people; some old, some young; consisting of four women and two men. They look exhausted after their long flight from Canada…
They have planned to take the whole group to Agio To Kokkora for an early lunch and a possible stroll around in Topanas; the old town. Pearly and Jay know that they will love it…
They will start the workshop at 3 pm, so they have some time to
accommodate to Chania.
There’s one couple in the group and they have planned to stay until the next weekend. The workshop will last until late Sunday afternoon, then the’ll be off to Venito; the best Italian restaurant in Topanas. they serve excellent Italian dishes and plays soft Jazz music, which was very rare in Chania. The restaurant was run by an Albanian who was very professional. The Cretans didn’t like him because he was so much better than them in managing and running his establishment.
He’d been chased away from another restaurant he had run for two years earlier by the competing Cretan Tavernas and Stekis, because he was outshining them in style and design of the whole project… If you prove to outsmart a Cretan on his own ground, they will inferiorated and that was a thing a traditional Cretan could not stand in his own domains…
Jay had rented a mini bus for the weekend to bring the group around. Now they were all stowed into the 9 seats truck. He’d also told them to bring as little as possible with them, because they
wouldn’t need it for the workshop. A dress and decant clothes for dining out at night was sufficient. Otherwise they would only need shorts and t-shirts and some robesfor swimming…
Now everything was in place and Jay started the diesel engine and they left for Chania and Agio To Kokkora. Two women had been asking what the name meant and Jay told them:” It means The Rooster’s Egg.”
“You will have to tell us the story behind that one later!”
“Of course, I think Pearly can tell you too; maybe when we’re there.” He looked at Pearly who nodded; “I’d be delighted to.”
The came into town and parked by the mosque in the harbour.
They left the luggage inside and a friend of Jay was going to keep an eye on the car…
They all had a nice stroll along the harbour. The Canadians were thrilled by the view and the cameras went warm as did their mouths. It was OK, because Jay and Pearly were so used to the scenery that they didn’t react to it anymore. Now they were reminded about the beauty of the town they were living in and they felt good about it.
When they passed by the fountain at the end of the harbour the Cnadians spotted the newly established Starbuck Cafe at the end of Halidon Street and at the entrance of the alley leading into the Topanas.
The Canadians were excited and wanted to enter the Cafe. Pearly recommended them to wait until they’d had lunch. They wouldn’t regret she assured them.
So they reluctantly came with them
The Egg was just a couple of minutes away from the harbour.
When they passed through the beautiful alleys up to the Egg, the Canadians went mad again; “Wow! It’s all so marvelous!” Cameras in action and outbursts like; “Wow!” and; “I have never seen anything like this!” and; “have you ever had such an experience!” It went on until they reached the Platia behind th cathedral where the Egg was situated. They were tired and hungry now, so the calmed down and waited for the preordered meals.
Jay had arranged with a few of the most famous salads the Egg
could offer.
After 20 minutes the salad s were ready and the Canadians were given a chance to marvel again; over the place and the food; and without L.A. there, they enjoyed the company of the other guests and the service they were given by Snjetso; the Serbian wife of L.A.
Pearly told the story of the name of the Cafe: the owner, L.A. had been working very hard to create a nice atmosphere and put a lot of energy into the art hanging on the walls inside. His choice of music was superb; especially for westerners and the salad compositions were also genuine; they had been famous for many years. so all in all; this was the rooster’s egg, for sure! After finishing the meal the Canadians gave Snjetso a formidable applaud!
On the corner table underneath the sign: Agio To Kokkora a grown up man was watching them curiously while taking notes in his notebook…
Thay stayed for an hour and then the demand for a visit to the Starbuck was imminent. Jay didn’t mind it; he enjoyed a cup of cafe Latte there now and then with a brownie to go with it…
But first they had to take about a hundred photos of the cathedral and the adjacent buildings and again the marveled over the architecture and the colours and the people passing..
Jay was watching them: what an amazing and enthusiastic group of people the were!
After the photo session they went down Halidon and to the Starbuck. In they went and everyone felt like home…
Finally the time came when they finished their chatting and drinking of coffee and their photo session, of course. They left for the truck; eager to get to where they were going to stay the next three days…
By the mosque Pearly invited them in to have a look at the local painters’ exhibition; photos session and exclamations like marvelous were flying in the air again…
The Canadians wanted to know if they could paint like that, but Pearly had to tell them that they were in for something totally different this time… The workshop wasn’t about learning to paint, but to use painting to express emotions coming up during the course. Drawing and writing were other methods to reach the the goal: the release of bad emotions, memories and hang ups. You will experience it all this weekend.
She led the group out again and into the truck while telling them that they could go for a swim in the Mediterranean sea before they started the afternoon session. Wows and applaud again…
They arrived at Jay’s and Pearly’s house and were full of enthusiasm about it!
They were showed the big bed – and work/resting room and told to find the space that suited them the most. Not too much fuss about it; they had chosen their places for the weekend in a couple of minutes. They were told to get their swimming gear and show up in the garden in almost no time. No one was not going for the beach and in 15 minutes they were marched up outside. Pearly was going with them. she really enjoyed this kine of work instead of the office routines she usually did.
Jay lay down on the bed to relax before they started the first session. He was a little anxious about it because it would take a lot of energy for him to run it all. Again he thanked for pearly’s arrival in his life…
In his slumber he heard a well known voice in is head:” How are you, Jay?”
“Oh, I’m fine thank you; and you?” Jay could hear the boy’s laughter again; “I am always fine, you know. I just had to show you the right path and when I am done I will feel much better!” Laughter again; ringing in Jay’s head.
This feeling was indescribable for Jay; it was his own laughter but coming fro a spirit soul!
“It’s all right. Just keep your mind very open this weekend and listen to your clients. They have things to tell you; about you.”
“Yes I know. I am just worried about my health L.J. It’s hard for me to do these workshops and adults carry so much with them and when they have a chance like this they’ll grab it; as they should actually.”
“You’ll be all right this time, Jay. I will be with you, even though you might not notice it.”
“In what way?”
The boy was gone again, but as usual Jay felt relieved by their meeting. His worries were gone and he rose up from bed in time to hear the Canadian hordes enter the house. ”They are nice people”, he thought, “but what a noise they make!”
croenning@rocketmail.com
24
Oh, what’ll you do now my blue eyed son?
What’ll you do now my darling young one?
I’m a going back out fore the rain starts a falling
I’ll walk to the depths of the deepest, dark forest
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty
Where the home in the valley meets the damp, dirty prison
Where the executioner’s face is always well hidden
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten
Where black is the colour, where none is the number
And I’ll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it
And reflect it from the mountains so all souls can see it
Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinking
But I’ll know my song well before I start singing
Bob Dylan: “A hard rain’s a gonna fall
Jay managed to get into the bathroom before anyone else could
enter. He just needed a face wash and to brush his teeth and both
bathrooms would be available for the waiting group in the hall.
Ha came out of the bathroom and was met by the same enthusiastic crowd. He just had to smile and laugh with them; their
enthusiasm was very catching. ”Something to remember”, he told himself.
He went into the bedroom and started the two powerful fans mounted up on the wall. It would be a hot day for cool Canadians!
There were mattresses spread around along the walls for people to relax and have their night’s sleep on. During daytime they would be placed according to various needs.
Jay placed the mattresses in a semi circle and put his own along the wall. Pearly had placed a bundle of tissue boxes underneath the windows. Jay opened two boxes and placed them between him and the half circle. Workshops like these always turned out to be wet; as they should be…
After 40 minutes the Canadians started to tumble in to the room; everybody excusing themselves for disturbing Jay. He just nodded and sat still with his eyes open; observing each of the 6 participants as they found their places in the room.
Finally Pearly came in with her hair still wet after the shower. Jay just had to admire her; she looked beautiful in any kind of situation! He felt warm inside and noticed that she knew… He felt uplifted by this and started to talk with the group. They had all received a pamphlet explaining the course step by step. He asked then if they had read them and got affirmative nods from everyone. ”What an amazing group of people!” he thought
The first thing to do is to spot the special characters of the group.
Uasually there was a clown, a moaner, a tear squeezer and a “host licker”. The latter was the most diffcult to handle, because they sucked energy from the group and the leaders and often had to be rejected, which again created a situation of dysfunctionality…
It was part of the job for group leaders. Jay usually pulled the “culprits” out and had a chat with them. He gave them an opportunity to explain themselves and if it went well, he gave them a strategy to work themselves out of an awkward situation.
This time it was the single man who kept on clinging to either Jay or Pearly; depending on his needs for the moment.
This sort of behaviour could be a nuisance, but then again, it was a part of that person’s disability that needed to be taken care of…
Finally they had all been telling a little bit bout themselves and
what they expected from these three days. Jay pointed out that it was up to then to decide whether they wanted to succeed or fail He and Pearly would be as a support for them at all times throughout the workshop.
This first introductory afternoon was mainly for everybody to get to know each other and get acquainted with the idea of using art, dancing and meditation and writing this weekend.
They all had brought notepads for writing and the group was given their first task; to write about their expectations for this course and
and how they could make it a cooperative period of work, so that everyone could go on from here with positive memories from this kind of event…
Everyone sat down by the walls and started writing.
Jay went around noticing each of them and their postures and how they were holding their pens; he’d been a teacher for many years and knew how to read these kinds of activities…
He especially noticed that the couple were sitting far away from each other and not even giving each other as much as a glance. Both of them wrote frantically as if they wanted to say as much as possible in the short time that was given.
croenning@rocketmail.com
25
The group worked well with their writing and after half an hour
Jay called it off. He told them to keep keep on writing their experiences; both physical and psychological ones with an emphasis on emotions and retrospective flash backs throughout the whole weekend and to keep their writing private.
They still had some hours to work and Pearly brought out the ready cut canvases for painting. The whole group sighed in delight; obviously looking forward to the painting sessions…
Jay told them to choose a partner and place themselves facing each other while they were painting.
Acryl panin was brought out together with water. Jay and Pearly went through the procedure of how to use it and especially how to apply it to the canvas. Different techniques were presented in how to use sponges, rags, brushes and water…
The whole group was eager to start as soon as possible and Jay
gave them the signal to start.
They did and Pearly turned on some appealing music chosen to keep their spirit up…
What are we doing to our world? Smiling Galaxy
Smiling Galaxy Paintings by the author and painter
The painting went on and already Jay observed that some were in trouble…
He told the group to stop and sit down with him and Pearly.
they quickly found their positions in a semi circle in front of them.
Jay asked them:”how do you feel about your painting experience so far?”
Six hands were immediately raised…
Jay let each of the ask and tell about what had happened during the one and a half hour of practicing painting.
The process followed the pattern that it usually did. Two of the girls were absolutely thrilled with their own achievement. The “host licker” was devastated. He said he knew this would happen and that he would always be a loser. One of the succeeding girls moved closer to him and held his hand. Jay felt relieved; if a union between these two could be established, it would be a benefit for them both and for the group as a whole.
The “licker” was a little taken away by the girl’s action, but she was smart enough to keep his hand in hers and even stroking his arm tenderly. The “licker” was then promoted to be named George, which was his real name. ”Progression”, he thought.
The couple was still separated. None of them had chosen each other for the painting companionship…
Jay decided to have a chat with them when the group was dismissed.
The stories of bad education when it came to arts, painting and particularly drawing came up like a storm as soon as Pearly asked them about their experiences from school days. Wow! They had a lot to say about school teachers! After having their stories told they relaxed and were very enthusiastic with every story being revealed…
It started to be late evening and Pearly and Jay rose up to say that this was enough for their first day and asked them to wait just a little until Jay and Pearly had had their showers and found their bedroom…
To his amazement; Jay saw George and his consoling partner push their mattresses together!
Jay and Pearly were exhausted, but satisfied after their first day together as group leaders. Actually; Pearly were excited! She knew about classical painting, but the way Jay was doing it here was totally new to her and she saw this as an opportunity to develop as a painter herself or to the whole concept of painting and creating art at all…
They finally finished their shower, which was more than a shower to them as the memories of their first “bathroom encounter” came up very vividly!
croenning@rocketmail.com
26
The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads ut to who knows where
Who knows where
But I’m strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
So, on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We’ll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
If I am laden at all
I’m laden with sadness
That everyone’s heart
Isn’t filled with gladness
Of love for one another
It’s a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we’re on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn’t weigh me down at all
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
He’s my brother
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother
The Hollies:”He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother”
The next morning Jay woke up early; someone was singing in the bathroom and it wasn’t Pearly this time; she was still lying by him.
There was a woman singing for sure, but he could also hear a man humming along with her…
He smiled and thought to himself:” let’s hope George will have some happy days here on Crete!”
The couple tried to keep it quiet, but Jay knew what was going on. He could hear them sneaking out of the bathroom now; giggling and satisfied; by the sound of them both…
Jay waited a while and then he got out of bed and went into his own bathroom. He had a short shower; without singing.
Back in the bedroom Pearly was awake lying with her arms underneath her neck. she was thinking of what she had witnessed kin yesterday’s session and was looking forward to continue today. she didn’t quite know what the plans were, but knew there would be some painting today too an dancing tp music that Jay had picked for the occasion…
Jay had piled up all the CD’s in a certain order and she wasn’t going to snoop around too much, but just follow the workshop and learn along the way; as much as she could; for later sessions. she wanted to understand Jay’s methods and observe how it worked with the group; and with her. Obviously she was already finding out about things, but she didn’t know how the whole program would work and she was really keen to learn about it…
Jay came in and dropped the towel on a chair. He turned to her and said: “Good morning, my love!” She loved the way he always did this; it cheered her up…
“Can you keep my company just a couple of minutes. dear?” she said. He looked at her and smiled; “you mean, in bed?” ”Yes, something like that”, she said. ”Not too much I hope. I have to get out there and do some preparations before we start”…
“No too much, my love; just a hug and a kiss and a little comfort before we start on this very new day?”
He crawls underneath the sheet and holds her tight to him and strokes her back and hair. They kissed and hugged and lie still and close together for a while and then he had to leave her. She said:”thank you!” and jumped out of bed and went for the bathroom.
He dressed and went out into the hall where people were queuing for a shower.
Jay was happy they were just six…
H went into the big bedroom and found George and Linda sitting together on a mattress. Jay said good morning and both smiled back at him… ”Neat”, he thought.
He asked them to help him clear the floor and raise the mattresses up against the walls and then remove the plastic and roll it up against the wall too. they were more than happy to do it and the job was done before he could turn around.
“Why do you want clear the room, Jay?” Linda asked. ”We are going some dancing meditation before we start the next painting session. It will wake you all up and give you energy and inspiration to keep on painting.”
Jay went over to start the CD player. He had chosen some heavy
dancing music that would go straight into people’s minds through their hips and spines.
Linda was immediately caught by the heavy rhythm of the drums and starts dancing around on the floor. She was stamping her feet down in the floor as she was supposed to; to gain the best effect of the power in the music…
Jay smiled and turned to George and winked at him: “what a girl!” he said in a low voice. George nodded and produced a broad grin…
“Neat!” Jay thought; again. the title of the CD was “Feet in the soil” and it was meant to stir up ground energy that came as a result of the stamping movements from the legs and thighs.
Now the rest of the group joined them. Jay told them to spread out as much a possible. They so did and looked at him; not knowing what was going to happen.
Jay turned on the music again and Linda and George started jumping at once and Jay had to stop them.
He told the group not to do as Linda and George just had done. ”Just stamp your feet and let the power come from your pelvis area.”
The group came into rhythm and synchronized their movements
in just a minute! Jay was amazed by these people! So easy to be with. Pearly was dancing too. she was a professional ballet dancer, but showed nothing of that in this dance! She was excited and with her gracious body she did unbelievable movements that fascinated Jay and indeed the whole group…
He noticed that the couple still held their distance and they looked more angry than happy. They were dancing as far away from each other as possible. ”Maybe they have an agreement about this”, Jay thought. He definitely had to have a chat with them…
The first cut of the music was done and Jay announced he would play another one that would go even deeper… He told them to be aware of their movements and the emotions accompanying them…
This music went really deep and Jay kept an eye on every one of them to see if it would be too hard for them. The male part of the couple was a heavy man and Jay danced beside him and noticed the heavy sweating and panting coming from him. ”Rob,” he said, “adjust your movements as it pleases you; all right?” Rob nodded and slowed down a little.
Jay turned off the music and received a bhooo! from the group.
He laughed at them and said that they would need to slow down to be more settled when they started their painting. He assured them that there would be plenty of music later…
George and Linda helped him roll out the plastic back into place.
The canvases were circulated to some amusements as some of them weren’t satisfied with their own works from yesterday.
“Have no fear”, said Jay, “this is not a competition. Just throw out whatever comes up from your minds and put it down on the canvas
with suiting colours. This is a kind of expressive painting and it should not be presented in an art gallery.”
The group quited down as they sat down with their partners again.
Pearly put on some soothing music and peace filled them all…
Jay said:”remember the emotions from your stamping and try to express it on your canvases.”
There was silence for a while except for the music.
Jay knew it wouldn’t last. He had seen Rob’s wife shedding heavy tears as she was painting and went over to her to have a look at what she was painting. She had painted an alley of trees and a big red house at the end of it. Now she had stopped and said she couldn’t make it anymore. She had wanted to express her feelings, but she was, but this was what she was coming up with and she hated it!
Jay went over to Pearly and told her to fill up a plastic cup with phosphorous yellow colour.
When he came back to Sarah, which was Rob’s wife’s name he put the cup of paint beside the painting and asked her;”so, what can be done about this?”
She looked at him and she understood. Tears were dripping down her cheeks. She was still sitting in a frozen posture. ”Can I go out and have some fresh air?”
“I’d rather see that you do what you need to do first”, Jay said and looked at her. she was still sitting, staring out in the room at nothing. Then she suddenly took the cup of paint in a sweeping movement and splashed over the painting and she rose up without a word and marched out of the room.
Jay was very satisfied. He looked over at Rob who nodded:”It’s Ok.”
He was glad for Rob’s concern; he was connected and he probably knew what had been going on with his wife…
Jay turned to the group and said it was time for breakfast in the garden. Pearly and Linda had prepared it all and laid the tables outside for all of them.
They all went out; and with some concern, after watching the incident with Mary
Jay went over to Rob and asked him if he could ask Sarah to come inside. He wanted to have a chat with them both. Rob went out and came in with Sarah after 10 minutes.
Jay was sitting on his mattress and he told the couple to sit down in front of him.
He told then that he had observed them splittingup and asked them why?
Sarah just looked down to the floor. Rob said that they had been arguing about this before they left and admitted that he’d opted for staying home, but that she could go down here if she wanted to.
Jay turned to Sarah: “what is your version of this, Sarah?” She was still looking down, but after a while she lifted her head and looked at Rob, then at Jay. ”I have always wanted to go abroad and especially to Greece and when I was told by some friends that you were running a workshop here I thought that this was a good opportunity for me… us”, she added, “but when Rob said he’d rather stay home I was furious. He never wants to go anywhere!” she said while glaring at her husband.
“Rob?” Jay said. “Well, she doesn’t want to talk with me, so I haven’t had a chance to tell her that I really enjoy what we are doing here, by your help. I am happy that I took this trip, because; as she says I am so attached to our hometown and the life we live there; with friends our jobs and all. He hesitated a while, then he came out with what was bothering him:” when I saw Sarah having trouble in letting go with her painting; I knew that something dramatic had to happen. she says that I am stubborn and not flexible, but her painting tells about her fear of doing something else too. I mean that feeling is equal with us. It’s not just about me.”
Jay smiled and said: “when we are in a relationship it’s never about just one of us. surely you both realize that?”
They looked at each other with tears in their eyes both of them. Jay said;” when we are finished here you can have another week’s holiday. Crete is a beautiful island and you can do your painting anywhere, Sarah.”
“I know”, she said. ”I also know why you had to show me what to do in the dead end street I was at the moment. I also know that I will learn from this, because it was so humiliating! I need to change and my reason for going somewhere else than Toronto is to have other experiences that can help me with that…”
“Sarah, when you were doing your painting, and experienced this stop inside; was it because you were here, in another place or was it something else?”
“It’s about me, I guess, and my mind. It doesn’t matter where I am.”
“Ok. Then what will you two do now? We still have the rest of this day and most of tomorrow left.”
They look at each other and finally the reach out for each other.
Rob says:”I think we have both learned a lesson already and actually in such a good, but painful way; I guess this is what we call good pain?”
“If you feel like that I guess it is.” Jay replies, “I think you two should go outside and have some breakfast now; you’ve deserved it!”
They rose up and hugs were exchanged between the three of them.
They all went out to join the others for breakfast…
Applaud were waiting the couple when they came into the garden hand in hand…
The breakfast this Saturday morning was the merriest of meals Jay and Pearly had experienced in their garden. Laughing, joking and the inevitable hugging were going on for 2 hours in the mild breeze and the lush rays of sunlight coming through a partly clouded sky…
They had some discussions about painting. Questions were asked to Jay and Pearly about the way of painting they were producing. Jay was more than happy to explain the method, which was more about psychology than artistic painting. For professional painters or happy amateurs it would feel awkward to leave standards for painting they had been taught and practiced for many years.
Jay told them to remember what he had told them the first night: that this was a way of expressing and looking into their inner self. Whatever they were carrying inside; it would show up in their paintings.
The all nodded their agreement. Sarah was very enthusiastic now and said she promised Jay and Pearly that she would follow her inner emotions and images…
Everybody applauded…
It was time to go on with their job and Pearly appointed Rob and Sarah to do the dishes this morning… Again: applauds
These people were unstoppable! Jay laughed as he went inside, saying: “come on class the pleasure is over; time to work…” No applaud this time though.
The rest of the day until lunch was used for painting and dancing in between. The paintings were changing character now and emotions came splashing out of the brushes and the cups of painting… Jay and especially Pearly were delighted!
After the first lesson was over and Pearly said: “I will take you to the beach again if you’d like to… Everybody needed to cool off and they all went over to the beach, just 5 minutes from the house.
Jay went into the bedroom and had a nap while the house was quiet and empty…
L.J. tuned in and asked Jay how the group was working? Jay found himself sitting in an upright position in the bed and was very confused. ”Ah, L.J. Well, it works quite well; some problems, but that is only to expect. The group is very social and supporting, so it runs itself. So far I am satisfied.” ”That’s good then. I just wanted to hear you say that. See you after you’re finished. We will have to start the final lap for you and me from Monday on. Are you ok with that?”
“I have no choice this time. I am going with you.” ”Good!” L.J. said and then he was gone.
Jay lay down on the bed again and dozed off at once. In his head he could hear tingling sounds as if the process had started already.
Later in the afternoon they would have some special dancing; each member of the group were to perform their own dance surrounded by all the other in a circle around them.
1 hour later they all came poring into the hall. Jay had gotten out of bed just before and had a quick shower…
They were all ushered into the bedroom as they had already showered off the salt from their bodies and their swimming suits were dry.
“No need to change!” Jay called out when they were all in the room. He had stripped the floor for plastic and instructed them to form a circle in the middle of it. He explained the activity going to take place and told them what the intention was with it.
“Any volunteers?” Jay asked. To his surprise George was the first one to go into the ring. Pearly started the music,which was from the first CD they had played…
George gave it all! He really had a good time in the circle alone. He stamped and jumped and whirled around and looked all the others in the eyes while whirling around along the circle of viewers. Pearly stopped the music and George bowed to his audience! Jay was delighted!
Then they came in one by one throughout the afternoon and the second one to come in was another surprise for Jay. Rob, just jumped in when George left the ring. He wasn’t as spectacular as George, but he enjoyed it and he swayed like a tree in the wind and every time he spotted Sarah, he looked her in the eyes and she smiled every time he did.
After one hour they finished and Jay now gave them the order to remember the emotions coming up during their dancing performance and then paint it out on their “canvases”, which now were changed into thick paper.
It took them 2 minutes to be seated in front of their paintings. This time Rob and Sarah were sitting together.
Throughout the afternoon there were full concentration on what they were doing! Colours were flowing, water sprinkled, sponges pushing.. pure joy for everyone!
When the session was stopped they were told to put their paintings along the walls as an exhibition, but also for later evaluation by the painters themselves. ”That will be tomorrow before noon”, Jay said. Now everyone has to take a shower and put on their party dresses and we’ll go to Venito and have a first class delicious Italian meal!” The applaud was enormous. The Canadians were jumping around like a flock of school children!
Jay had never met a more amazing group like these people!
In the evening they all went out for dinner and had a wonderful night in Andrea’s restaurant Venito. Classical music were played and everyone were delighted by the atmosphere of this beautiful restaurant.
At midnight they were home again after a long walk around in the Topanas area.. souvenirs were bought in kilos and coffee were drunken in the cafes along the way. A splendid evening for all of them!
27
Time it was and what a time it was
A time of innocence
A time of confidences
Long ago it must be
I have a photograph
Preserved your memories
They’re all that’s left you
Simon&Garfunkel:”Bookends”
The next morning they were all gathered in their working room; finishing their paintings and putting them along the walls again. They were all sitting in front of their own paintings and were asked by Jay what kind of thoughts and feelings they had about them. They were later to write them down in their notepads and contemplate after coming home what had happened and why…
At two o’clock. Jay started the van and they were all driven to the airport; except Sarah and Rob who were going to stay one more week…
Happy farewells, hugs, kisses and tears were exchanged and off the Canadians went…
Jay was feeling good they went home again. Good in the sense that this was his best workshop so far; due to the mood of the Canadians mostly, but he didn’t forget L.J.’s words: “it’s going to be all right this time.”
It was Sunday afternoon and they were sitting on the balcony having a glass of white wine to celebrate these three days of events…
Pearly asked about Jay’s methods and thanked him for letting her in to the group. She told him how much better she liked this kind of work in stead of the boring office routines she had don previously.
“I can hire someone else for that, Pearly.” Jay said, “we’re together here anyway now!”
Pearly smiled and kissed him on the cheek. ”It’s all right, I can take the office job too, but I really want to get into these workshops! I enjoyed every second of it!”
28
Here is my song for the asking
Ask me and I will play so
sweetly, I’ll make you smile
This is my tune for the taking
Take it don’t turn away
I’ve been waiting, all my life
Thinking it over I’ve been sad
Thinking it over I’ve been more than glad
To change my ways for the asking
Ask me and I will play
All the love that I hold inside
Simon&Garfunkel:”Song for the asking”
Jay’s ultimate journey starts
Jay looked her; “I have to tell you that I had a short meeting with L.J. He told me that from tomorrow on we’re going for the real hard work on my road to enlightenment. This period will be the last one and we’re going to a meditation center close to Iraklion and we will stay there until we’ve finished the job.”
Pearly just looked at him while he was speaking; with her mouth wide open:”How long will it take?”
“I am not sure, Pearl. I just have to hang in there as long as it takes. I’s a hard job for both of us. I mean L.J. and me and then you of course. As you will be left waiting and in uncertainness. Whatever happens to me I will come back and stay with you.”
Pearly is still just staring at him: ”Can I go with you?”
“I do not know, Pearl, my love. It will be very hard for you, I am sure, but maybe it’s better to stay closer to me than staying here just for the waiting. I’ll ask L.J. what he thinks. OK?”
Pearly exhales as she’s been holding her breath for a long time… ”Yes. my love; that’s ok with me! This will also be a test for me and our relationship. So far we have had just good days.”
Jay looks scrutinizingly at her. He is not sure what to think about this situation which was bound to happen. Decisions has to be made…
“Are you sure you will do this, Pearl? ” “Yes, I am sure. It’s the issue I am absolutely most sure about!”
“she is not coming, Jay! It may jeopardize the whole transformation!”
“For once I am going against you L.J. This woman is of a material that is very rear. she has a Stamina that I have seen on no other person I have met and you know I have met many! If you will not let her come with us I am dropping all of it!”
Silence…
He looks over at Pearly as she is sitting in her low chair. Suddenly she opens her eyes wisely and stares at him. “He is here, Jay! He’s inside my head! I can even see him! He’s talking to me!”
She leaned backwards as far as she could come and closed her eyes. She was smiling…
“A good sign”, Jay thought. He just sat still in his chair and looked at Pearly; waiting for her to finish her conversation with L.J.
It lasted and lasted. Pearly kept her broad smile on her face and Jay was satisfied!
Half an hour later she opened her eyes again and just looked at him. She appeared to be very happy!
“Your boy says he’s checked if what you told him about me was right ans guess what: you were!”
Now it’s Jay’s turn to smile broadly! ”So he can enter you too! How neat!” ”what did he say?” ”He said that with my personality I would be of great comfort for all of us and part of the transformation would happen for me too!”
Jay jumped out of the chair and said;” thank you, thank you!!”
L.J. laconic answer to Jay’s outburst was: “Just be sure you reach the bus tomorrow morning, both of you.”
He was gone, but his answer and reaction was quite clear; ”They were both going and they were to stay together!”
“You know what, Pearly; I would like to go for a ride on my bicycle now and I would like you to go with me.”
“I am more than willing to join you, Jay”…
In relatively good order they went out in the garden and took the bikes out of the shed. They rolled them out in the alley and sat up on them and started a trip that would last for hours; along the sea first where they made a stop at their special place down my the sea. They sat down on the boulders and sat in silence for an hour an watched the sun’s slow decent towards the peninsulas on the other side of the sea. Never had a sunset been enjoyed more than this evening for any of them…
They went on and turned back to the Golden Beach and had a night swim there; naked they played and kissed and held each other, floating in the water; looking up at the stars shining… They had not other concerns this night, but themselves and the big universe shining down at them…
It was midnight when they arrived in the garden again. They parked the bikes inside the shed and locked them and the door outside before they went inside the house. ”I wonder when we will see them again?” Pearly said. Jay looked at her and said:”we don’t know that, but I am quite sure that we will be coming back to this house again.”
Pearly took his hand in hers and said; “Yes, where else should we stay, my love?”
It was bedtime for them both that had a busy day ahead of them tomorrow.
After going to bed Jay had a short message from L.J.: “from now on, Jay: no sex, but tantric sex for you too!”
Jay smiled and informed Pearly about L.J.’s “edict”. She smiled and said:” let’s do it then, whatever it is…” Jay showed her throughout the night…
